Another Poem to a Narcissistic Lover

narcissist-liar-heartBreaking up with a narcissist is never easy but it’s entirely possible. You must look deep into your hearts, my friends, and I promise you that you will find the answers. And sometimes it sure helps to write about it so think about doing that the next time you feel sad inside.  So, while I was writing another article, a few words came to mind about – surprise – the narcissistic lie and I ran with the idea, turning it into a poem named after my first book. And I’d like to share it with you.

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Now, I’m certainly not and never have been a poet but I thought that as simple as it is, this little poem both summarizes the narcissistic partner (in a nutshell) and tosses in a bit of empowerment to the mix.

So, for what it’s worth, enjoy….

When Love Is a Lie

He’ll berate, belittle, insult, and destroy you….
Deceive, devalue, idolize, and ignore you…
He’ll block you then stalk you,
‘til you do what he taught you
His prize for The Lie is a chance to discard you

He’ll seduce and betray, confuse and neglect you
Without a single regret, he intends to infect you
In the blink of an eye, he’ll all but erase you
His venomous words are meant to disgrace you
He buried your soul down a dark rabbit hole
And planned your demise from the moment he met you

So, what do you feel? Do you know why you cry?
Is it fear that consumes us when love is a lie?
Is it hard to let go if it’s all that we know?
If the bad that he is, is as good as it gets
We must look to our heart for it’s time to reflect
Make him fade into black from the fear of attack
I am you, you are me, & we’ll never be back
Bitter and broken, on the wind it was spoken
From a dream, we’ve awoken
From a dream, we’ve awoken

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  • Jennifer

    November 30, 2017 at 12:36 pm Reply

    I am so glad that you have taken the time to write all of these books. I am still in contact with my N because I am so financially in debt with everything, including the Mercedes Benz he so smartly used me to buy to floss around and Lear new victims, thank god it is only in my name or I would probably be car-less. He is a real life terrorist. I have been living with him approx 11 years now. I have even been to a psychiatrist because he really had me thinking I was loosing my mind. Your books help me each day see what a N he is and I am really trying to figure out how to go no contact, while keeping my job, not letting my mother get beat up or her house burned down. Happy holiday from my family to yours Zari.

    Take Care,

    Jenn from the bay area California….

    • Zari Ballard

      December 3, 2017 at 4:31 pm Reply

      Thank you, Jen:) Please keep reading and learning and plan a strategy to escape when you can. Where there is a will, there HAS to be a way. Your head is in the right mindset; you just have to make it happen. Happy holidays to you too, my sister….xo

  • Krystal Zabel

    February 5, 2016 at 12:32 pm Reply

    Your words are really opening my eyes to see and realize there’s people with this problem. It seems so unreal for a human to beable to do suck a thing to others. Do they even know there doing this do they think its ok????

    • Zari Ballard

      February 5, 2016 at 3:20 pm Reply

      Hi Krystal,

      Honestly, they think it’s okay. The bottom line is that everything they do and say…all those bad behaviors…it’s all about what they can get away with. They feel falsely entitled to do it all at anyone’s expense. So, yes, they know what they’re doing but feel entitled to do it so, yes, they think it’s okay. Yikes! It’s awful, isn’t it?

      Zari xo

  • Mel

    December 4, 2015 at 9:11 am Reply

    I am waking up from the dream. Realizing It’s really just a nightmare I’ve been convincing myself to keep experiencing. Your words could have come right off my lips. The N is an empty soul. There is nothing emotionally valuable within them, except what we project onto them. They do not think like we do. They have no compassion or conscience. They don’t ever see us. They only see the reflection of themselves in our eyes.
    I’m trying to get out. I’m afraid that he will hurt me when realizes that he’s losing control over me. He has a gun and has threatened to use it to kill me if I ever leave him. He has everyone in his life fooled. He hurt his daughter and no one believed her. Not even me. I want to protect her, but I have to protect myself and my children first. I have documentation of some of his most recent lies and proof of his cheating. I’m going to get out. I’m going no contact, with a restraining order more than likely, since he knows where I work, and I’m going to tell his mother what he really is when I’m safely disentangled. If she doesn’t listen, I will tell his daughter’s school. She cuts herself already. I don’t know what she might do if I leave her with him.
    I’m putting out so many fires, I haven’t even had time to think about how broken my heart is. He love bombed me with the sweetest words I’ve ever had poured over me. I loved him, loved this lie so very much that it took, not only red flags, but a brick wall, to make me stop and accept that he is actually who I feared him to be. I stopped doubting my intuition. Stopped ignoring the little voice that has never led me astray. The proof of my rightness staring me right in the face. We live together. We built a life. I trusted him with everything. My money, my children, my health, my heart. N is not capable of unconditional love. N is not capable of healthy love. N is only capable of self love.
    Thank you for being here. Unless you’ve experienced it, you just don’t get it. You get it. I’m very grateful for the insight and support.

  • Indie

    August 18, 2015 at 9:33 am Reply

    Zari you write so beautifully – your wisdom, your insight – for all that you so generously share – the words “thank you” seem vastly inadequate. Nevertheless, I am going to use them! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    • Zari Ballard

      September 2, 2015 at 6:11 am Reply

      Hi Indie,

      Thank you for your lovely words. Believe me, it is my PRIVILEGE to help in any way that I can…

      Stay strong!

      Zari xo

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