Letting Go of the Narcissist = Releasing the Past

Zari Ballard’s Blog, TheNarcissisticPersonality.com

To begin to let go of the narcissist, we must release the past and choose to live in the here and now. This, my friends, is the only answer to the (heart) aches and pains that we feel after it finally ends with our narcissistic partner. There was nothing we could have ever done, no love we could have ever shown, and no words we could have ever spoken to this person that would have ever made a difference in the outcome.  It’s hard to accept and sadder than sad – I know. But it is what it is and life simply has to go on.

About an hour ago, I was actually on the fence about what to focus on for my next post. Then, I went to my email and found this from Daily OM as my horoscope for the day:


Release the Past
Aries Daily Horoscope (Daily OM)

You may notice mood swings today that may be due to memories from the past. There could be many emotional triggers that leave you feeling uncertain about how to handle various situations. You might feel that the past is more present to you than the present and that your ways of dealing with what arises doesn’t reflect who you are but rather who you were. Today would be a good time to become aware of these triggers and remind yourself that the past cannot hurt you. Should you feel that your thoughts about what happened previously affect your frame of mind, you can gently tell yourself that they have no power over you now. You might even repeat to yourself, “I am here in the now.” You could find that this helps you live more in the present and could help lighten your mood.

Reminding ourselves that the past holds no sway over us allows us to live in the present moment. It is easy for us to define ourselves and our actions based on either our past experiences, moods, or defense mechanisms. However, when we consciously bring ourselves into the now, our problems with the past dissipate. We see that there is very little in the present that threatens us and that the only thing in life we can change is our minds—we can’t change anything about the past. By releasing the power the past has over you today, you will discover the sweet wonders that await you in the present.

Wow. I instantly had to share this with you because it speaks of the one powerful Universal magic (solution) that actually has the potential to fix us once and for all…to take away our heartache forever…to fade the narcissist (and all his evilness) into total oblivion. It is the magic that makes a narcissist’s silent treatment our best friend and cognitive dissonance a figment of our imagination.  It is the magic that instantly creates the closure from the narcissist that we’ve been searching for. And this magic (solution), if we so choose to believe, is right at our fingertips all of the time.

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It is the power of the here and now…the power of the present moment. If we live in the here and now….if we choose to be mindful (no matter how hard it appears to be to do it) of only this moment and nothing else….if we practice this every day and especially each time a memory of the narcissist (good or bad) invades our thinking, we can finally detach from the pain. We can experience the pain, acknowledge it, and let it go. The here and now is the foundation for No Contact.

Because the truth is that in this very moment the N has no bearing on your life. In this very moment, he does not exist because he is not with you. It’s easy to maintain the No Contact Rule with someone who doesn’t exist! And the past…well, it’s the past…and the past (yesterday, last month, last year…) can not touch you in this very moment. It is behind you and you, therefore, must release it. Releasing the past is the logical thing to do – and you simply can’t argue with logic.

That which is behind you can not hurt you, my friend. Let your heart not be troubled. Believe in this and you too will become free. It will happen, I promise you.

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  • Sylvie

    April 28, 2017 at 7:14 am Reply

    For me, I researched all I could, I learned yep that’s him, I doubted myself with what if I leave and he isn’t that? back and forth with the it’s all my faulth, then i just said i can’t do this anymore. I realized i had great sisters who said “would it matter?” The truth was, he had cheated and even if i say i forgive him, i don’t want to trust him again, I see him in a different way, i don’t want to be part of this maybe real maybe make belief life, he treated badly because he was so frustrated with me, my fault. I started to look at him and anything, i mean anything he would say to me would pretty much be a lie wether i had proof or not, would it matter, i felt it, and if i was wrong? The truth was still i didn’t trust him and he never gave me reason to trust him, but plenty not to, i tried to understand why would someone be like this, the end it doesn’t matter, I am not this person and i will not become him, which is exactly what was happening, i would rage, and get so frustrated, i would lie instead of having to deal with his bs, So why would i want to be with someone that when with them i felt this way, no matter him, or me or situations, doesn’t matter it was how i felt!!! And i was unhappy end of story , i deserve to be happy and as scared as i was of moving forward, i push dougt out of the way. Nothing good will ever be for me if i stayed, or if i didn’t feel deserving enough.

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