Victims of narcissist abuse always want to know what in the hell the narcissist is really thinking – as if knowing the awful truth will bring actual closure to the pain of a discard. Although I can understand this, I am fairly certain that most of us know all too well exactly what the narcissist is thinking and our quest for truth is actually about us hoping that we’re wrong. Unfortunately, this article – Part 3 of A Sociopath Exposes a Narcissist – isn’t going to help to that end but it will, in fact, give us some cold hard facts.
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Since I believe that a narcissist is a sociopath and a sociopath is a narcissist, the words that follow might as well have come out of the mouth of the N himself (or herself). If you’ve read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series of articles, then you know that the “answers” I provide are taken directly from the blog of a sociopath. Although the words aren’t pretty and, for the most part, do not tell us anything that we don’t already know in our heart of hearts, I decided to use this information (a.k.a. the thoughts of this sociopath) to my blog because I really do feel that seeing is believing and we all need to see this to believe it.
It’s amazing to me that, although I discovered this particular blog many years ago, the words are as cutting and hurtful today as they were to me back then. I guess the truth is the truth and sometimes the truth hurts, right? So, for everyone who searches for answers on the web with search phrases like “When will the narcissist return?”, “Does the narcissist miss me?”, “What is a narcissist thinking during a silent treatment?”, “Why do narcissists use silent treatments?”, “Does the narcissist remember me?” and on and on, the answers below come right from a narcissist’s mouth and should answer all of those questions in one sad fell swoop. [Note: The questions that precede the “answers” were created by me according to my take on the answer itself].
Do narcissists know they are narcissists and are they happy?
The answer, from the mouth of a narcissist/sociopath: Real sociopaths (narcissists), like myself, are happy being a sociopath (narcissist). We could really care less about how others feel. We enjoy our so called cold existence. It’s all we know. So, (if you think) sociopaths really are hurting deep down inside and want to change if given a chance, nonsense! True (narcissists and) sociopaths don’t want to change. Most don’t even believe they have a problem. We love every minute of it. It’s who we are. We feel in total control of our lives using this method. Anything less is unacceptable.
Why doesn’t the narcissist seem to miss me like I miss him when we break up?
The answer, from the mouth of a narcissist/sociopath:We don’t need you. You could disappear tomorrow and we could care less. We’re not prone to being controlled in any way, shape or form. We are survivalists. Trust us we would live if the human race disappeared tomorrow. We are far too self serving and self absorbed not to. At the very least? We’d give it a damn good shot! And we don’t need you in some round about way either. You’re mistaking us for someone who gives a shit or has feelings like your own. Trust me we don’t. We simply use you because you’re nearby, you’re convenient or we’re bored and desire something you possess. Otherwise we would go on without you just fine. Because, again, we don’t possess feelings like you do. Getting it now?
How can a narcissist just move on to someone else like it’s no big deal?
The answer, from the mouth of a narcissist/sociopath:I think sociopaths do a good job of living in the now. They can focus on the task at hand without being influenced by feelings or events from the past, other lessons learned, and they don’t become so anxious about the future. When they do get anxious it’s more like a response to present situations, just like animals do.
Do narcissists know or understand right from wrong?
The answer, from the mouth of a narcissist/sociopath: Not being guided by a ‘moral compass’ means that judgments of good vs. bad and rights vs. wrong are determined using a different mechanism. Psychopaths (narcissists and sociopaths) know the difference between right and wrong because they understand cause and effect. While such a simplistic method of decision-making leaves plenty of room for error, it also explains why they are sometimes unaware of the trouble they cause or outright do not care. If they choose to do what social norms and laws determine to be “good” and someone is unintentionally hurt in the process who assumes the burden of guilt? Their intention was good, indicating morality in that they chose to follow socially acceptable rules, but the behavior violated another person’s moral code and no remorse is being expressed on cue. It is in this space that the mask of sanity begins to slip and people are often shockingly aware that this person possesses very little real emotion. The psychopath/narcissist, however, feels no guilt or empathy by default and can’t understand why the other person is so upset. There is no “guilty conscience” giving them a clue and they are displaying the symptom of being “indifferent to social norms” while most likely presenting as ‘cold-hearted.’ Why should a psychopath fake emotion just to appease the other person? His behavior is within the framework of the laws but his emotion is not fueling the behavior. They do not see a need for emotion to be involved so pervasively in life and regular people cannot fathom how it is possible to function without emotional connections to other people. Psychopaths seem to intellectually understand that losing a close friend brings about pain which leads to crying as a way to release overwhelming emotion in normal people. But to cry because your feelings were hurt is a foreign concept. Therefore, the psychopath sees no logical reason for either party to display emotion in this situation; rather, his good intentions and avoidance of malice are enough to justify his action. Just because it did not go according to plan does not make him responsible for the other person’s feelings. Furthermore, the slighted person doesn’t deserve an apology because it is they who are handicapped by irrational emotions.
So, if you’ve been wondering how a narcissist really feels and hoping that a truthful answer might warrant some sympathy on your part, this article series should put an end to that once and for all, wouldn’t you say?
Antony
October 14, 2015 at 8:59 pmI think the “real words from the N” is crap. I think they need people more than anyone. They can’t sit alone with their feelings. They will feel like they disappeared. Do they like feeling superior? Yes. Always. But if any person makes them feel slighted in anyway, they go into a full rage. How could they not care? Now, anti social personality disorder might be different. I don’t have any experience with psychopaths. But narcissists…I know far too many in my life and as far as I can tell, they care the most. That’s why they have to abandon you before you do it to them.
Zari Ballard
October 25, 2015 at 3:21 amHi Antony,
To me, a narcissist going “into a full rage” after feeling slighted isn’t anything near a reflection of his ability to “care”. Rage is just a reaction to what this person perceives as narcissistic injury…a reaction that is more compulsive than it is even emotional. A narcissist may react with rage – albeit in varying degrees – almost every time he gets called out on a behavior or action but that doesn’t constitute caring by any definition. You don’t have to “care” about something to react a certain way when it’s taken from you. Narcissistic injury just means that, for whatever reason, at that specific moment, the narcissist lost control. It slipped.
And I also disagree that narcissists intentionally abandon you for the sole purpose of doing it first. No way. They aren’t even thinking about YOU leaving…why? Because they don’t care! They abandon you just to abandon you…because they can…because it’s fun to know that you’re squirming at home, trying to figure out what happened…because abandoning you keeps you in the queue indefinitely out of desperation…because it buys the narcissist time to play with other people while you wonder…it goes on and on. Of course later, the narcissist, when confronted, will say “Well, I could tell you were going to do it so I did it first” but think about how stupid, EASY and CONVENIENT that answer sounds. It’s a lie. OF COURSE that’s what they’ll say…and how can the recipient of the lie even argue???
We could go back and forth all night debating the buzz words but, in the end, I’m sure we would agree that evil is evil and the farther we stay separated from these soulless monsters, the better.
Thanks for writing!
Zari:)
Cheryl Jeska
October 26, 2015 at 6:03 amIn my case, I confronted my narc (in an email; she had stopped actually verbalizing anything with me months before) with the pain of the lies and deception, the way she was excluding me from her life all of a sudden, the way she had flipped on everything she had said or promised, and even said that people like her shouldn’t be allowed to be around other people – so she found another girlfriend and told me never to contact her again (or else – legal stuff and so forth). I really get the feeling that, no matter how miserable I am, she thinks I am or she finds out I am, she ain’t coming back: In her mind I would be constantly judging her. I don’t think they can abide by that. But then, I still can’t wrap my head around the crazy well enough to be sure of anything. Like, she’s still using me – right now it’s to convince her ex husband that I am a dangerous stalker and that it is unsafe for her to live alone (per her alimony agreement). It’s getting harder to believe they aren’t fully aware of what they’re doing.
Zari Ballard
December 6, 2015 at 4:14 pmHi Cheryl,
Sorry it took me so long to respond and I’m terribly sorry that you’re going through all this. Female narcs are the worst of the worst. And yes, while it’s hard to wrap our heads around the fact that they know what they’re doing, believe me, they DO. It’s simply what they do. It’s ingrained in their soul. It’s how they live day to day. And while I used to think that they didn’t know right from wrong, I know now that they absolutely do know the difference…they just don’t give a fuck about it.
Stay strong and you might want to read my book When Evil Is a Pretty Face because it will give you a world of insight into how they think. I’m here if you need me and, again, so sorry it took me so long to get back to you.
Zari xo
Cheryl
December 7, 2015 at 8:27 amThanks for the reply. In the time since I initially wrote, I have had a few revelations. My situation is a little different than some in that I can see and feel my part in this relationship maybe more than many this early on (my story is a little unusual, and might not have occurred had I had a different understanding of myself).
I am now in a place where I can see her clearly, but also realize that I knew almost immediately there was something wrong, but wanted something out of the relationship so much, that I felt I had to forge ahead. When I realized that I had no vision for that “something,” things changed for me.
I now realize that it was more about my unwillingness to give up MY idea that there was a future, when I had no idea what that was, when it was not what she wanted, and when it had never really been part of what I had held onto for so many years. She certainly took advantage of that: She was impossible to communicate with, she lied and lied and lied, she cheated, she punished and lashed out, she used, etc.; but I was as trapped by my own issues as much as I was by her doing.
In just a few weeks, my feelings and even my mind have taken a huge leap away from this thing. I realize I do not love her (maybe never have, despite the hot and heavy year in college). I have no need to see her, talk to her, know what she’s doing or who she’s with now. My thoughts of her have dropped to momentary passings triggered by some familiarity. There is no grief or sadness.
I realized that my “fantasy/dream” was fulfilled back in 2007. I only imagined her and myself up to a point – and certainly not to the point of spending the rest of our lives together. I was flailing for meaning and purpose that didn’t exist.
It’s too bad she is NPD or BPD or whatever combination, but I no longer care – other than very generally (I wouldn’t wish it on anyone); but it is no longer my issue or concern.
Thanks so much for getting back to me. I DO have one of your books and found it helpful. Not everyone provides such clarity and breadth on this narrow a focus.
Take care! Cheryl
Zari Ballard
December 21, 2015 at 6:24 amHi Cheryl,
Well, I’m glad you updated me – thank you! It sounds as if you’ve come to a place of acceptance and I’m grateful for that. Stating that you realize what she is but that it is no longer an issue or a concern in your life…you say it with meaning that I can feel and I believe you. Still, you seem melancholy in some way…about what you perceive as your role in the conflict and I am here to tell you that we all play a role in it. We all want to believe that this person that we loved was telling us the truth. Constant betrayal creates desperation in the recipient and we tend to over-analyze the “why” of our behaviors. This is my opinion anyway and I stand by it. I’m not saying that we don’t hold accountability…I’m just saying that we need to give most of the credit to the narcissist where it’s definitely due. When we’re involved with these people, we all “flail” for meaning and, yes, it certainly didn’t exist. The important thing is that we get out and actually survive it. What you consider to be your issues – at least as you’ve explained them here – seem perfectly normal to me and we can all resonate with it. You are perfect just the way you are.
Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year, sister! I’m here if you need me:)
Zari xo
Cheryl
December 21, 2015 at 9:59 amThanks so much. When I do find myself tempted to ruminate (because we all know how hard it is/was to know it “wasn’t me”), something my therapist said to me always comes to mind: “You may know you are not the abuser because you have sought and pursued treatment for this.” True. My abuser tried a couple of therapists, but quit after a few weeks. I think that alone speaks volumes. I really appreciate what you do here and your kind words of encouragement.
Shoshannah
November 18, 2015 at 5:16 pmWell, I am not sure about that either. My xN seemed to need his supplies, be dependent on them and be really scared of rejection. I wouldn’t say that he just didn’t care. In some peculiar, egoistic way – he did care. I have no doubt that it wasn’t because of a real attachment, but some sick need for supply, but he did seem to care. In my case it was me who broke up. And when I was breaking up he almost fell on the floor. He seriously lost his balance, like he couldn’t stand on the floor. He seemed really shocked and terrified. And then, after the break up, he start to go out of his way with his hoovers.
In some twisted way they do care. Perhaps simply loosing control if a threat to them. But I wouldn’t say that they could live happily with no people. My xN seemed to need people much more than normal people do, he seemed dependent on people. (For example, I am fine if I spend my weekend alone, in fact, I love it from time to time, but I am sure he could never do it.)
BTW, since the break up I am sometimes getting friend requests on facebook from fake accounts. I know many fake accounts exist and people create them for a variety of reasons. But I started to wonder whether it is a coincidence that I have never got any such requests before the break up and after the break up I got about 5. I accepted one because I mistaken the name for my old friend and the fake person started to wright to me (meaningless things, like ‘cc sit’, ‘boo’ etc.) Is that my xN? I am not sure why he would be doing it, as I haven’t blocked him on FB – he has access to all my data anyway, so why trying to access them from fake accounts. But maybe tormenting me like that would just give him some sick feeling of control… I don’t know. Maybe I’m getting paranoid. But the more I know about the disorder, the more suspicious I become. In fact, I am now thinking that I have had much more hoovers than I had thought – I just didn’t recognize them as hoovers (flying monkeys contacting me out of the blue, professional requests from the company that the XN runs etc.)
Also, I wanted to share a victory that is about to come – in 2 days I am celebrating 6 months since I am out. I’ve read somewhere that it takes about 6 months for trauma bonds to let go. So it is an important date. I’m very happy about it.
All the best, stay strong! xx
Zari Ballard
November 21, 2015 at 2:08 pmOkay, Shoshannah, you are giving me a lot of chuckles today! I love, love, love how you refer to certain things as “flying monkeys”. Every time you do, I picture the scene right out of the Wizard of Oz (a story, by the way, all about sociopathy and narcissism). Perfect.
You’re right, they do care but obviously not in the way that we think. If they “cared”, they would never continue to do perpetuate the same atrocious behaviors over and over…behaviors that cause others so much pain. They care, however, about the injury they feel when control starts to slip. Hence, the term narcissistic injury. So, relevant to the article, you’re right and it was perceptive of you to make that note. The truth is the “sociopath” that I quote in that article is actually a girl and GIRLS – whether narcissists or sociopaths – are the worst of the worst and the male victims who write here can attest to that. So, if she says she doesn’t care, I believe it! Female N’s and S’s have their male counterparts beat hands down in the evil department.
And, finally, congrats on MAKING THE SIX MONTH MILESTONE!!! I’m proud as hell and you should be as well. Be happy and celebrate. If I was there, I’d take you for a drink. Since I can’t, I’m sending you hugs across the miles…..:)
Zari xo
Shoshannah
December 11, 2015 at 11:18 pmOh yes, I believe girl must be even worse.. And I’m sure no narcissists – no matter what gender – care in a normal, ‘human’ way about anyone.
Thanks. I did celebrate my 6 months out with a glass of wine! And I do feel it is milestone. I still think about all of it a lot… but it’s nothing to compare to where I was a few weeks ago.:) All the best, S.
Holly
December 16, 2015 at 7:16 pmI agree. There are TONS of similarities between Ns and Sociopaths but It’s more like the N is maybe in transition to becoming a full S. My N is just not introspective to know what the S revealed in her blog. And he is terrified of abandonment. The S blog even said that S don’t get hurt like that.
Emma
October 7, 2015 at 6:33 pmZari, read your books awhile back when I first realized he was a Narc (fall 2014). Long story short – after 7 years I kicked his ass to the curb. Been done and can’t stand the thought of him. Only problem, we are married and have a kid, he is also a high earning N! Think mr. Big…
So he has made my life a living hell, question- how does one deal with the control and manipulation. At this time most of it has to do with money and schedules! He asks to see the kids but then cancels last minute or hates to confirm. It makes me so mad and I can’t make plans to go out or be it of town because I never know if he will come to get them!
Need some help!
Zari Ballard
October 19, 2015 at 5:00 pmHi Emma,
Sorry it has taken me so long to respond! Co-parenting is so hard and the narcissist will always be trying to manipulate, control, and break you. It’s about getting a reaction from you – that’s all it is. This being true, the best thing that you can do in have no reaction via showing INDIFFERENCE and DETACHMENT. Keep all contact to a minimum of ten minutes and refuse to engage about anything other than what is absolutely necessary – and this, by the way, is your call, not his. You decide what is important or not and then, if it’s important, keep it to ten minutes and then end it. In the big picture of things, keeping your cool for ten minutes is not impossible and you must do it. No matter what he says, show INDIFFERENCE. No matter what he does, show DETACHMENT. You’ve must start re-training your brain to NOT respond to his emotional triggers because that’s exactly what he wants. By re-training YOUR brain, it eventually retrains his behaviors but don’t even worry about that…just watch yourself and the rest will happen.
As far as him making plans to take the kids and then canceling, they all do that for the very reason that you explained – so that YOU can’t do anything. You have to take charge of this. If you want to go out of town, make the plans and see if someone else will watch them. If he calls to say he’s coming, CALMLY say “I made plans for this weekend and since I never know if you’ll show up or not, XXXX is watching them.” Let him throw a fit or act up. It is what it is. First and foremost, he needs to know that him not picking up the kids is NOT going to keep you from getting on with your life. That’s first. Second, start writing a journal about the interactions, documenting every phone call and promise to come and then every time he breaks a promise. This way, if and when it ever goes back to court, you have it all down to prove that visitation was at HIS disposal. Now, if you don’t have visitation and support ordered by the court, you need to get it. TODAY. Go to the local office and get it ON PAPER. Until you do that, you’ll never have a real say in anything and he won’t feel forced. If it is on paper and he’s still not showing up, just document it all and make your plans as you see fit.
Start with that and let me know how it goes, girl. Stay strong and write anytime:)
Zari xo
Sara
July 19, 2015 at 5:33 amI have done a lot of research into Narcissism since I started a roller coaster relationship with the love of my life. We have broken up twice and, having read all the information online, I am fairly certain he is a Narcissist. I also recognise myself as the typical personality type they go for. He wants me back. Everything I read says Narcissists are incapable of change and there is no point even raising the issue with them as I will be bombarded with lies. I am really struggling with the concept that progress is impossible. I see him as a wounded man (and yes, I realise that make me the quintessential victim). I am trying to look past the label at the person beyond. Is there any point trying?
Zari Ballard
July 23, 2015 at 6:18 pmHi Sara,
Nope, there’s no point in trying. I tried to look past it too – for 13 years – and nothing ever changed. And based on the hundreds upon hundreds of stories that come in this website, it’s clear to me that it’s a lost cause worldwide. In as much as we’d like to think that our guy, even though he’s a narcissist, is the exception to the rule, it simply doesn’t happen. Please, if you can, download or get my book When Love Is a Lie from Amazon because I explain it all clearly in much detail the why’s and how’s and what if’s of narcissism in relationships. Playing the “wounded” soul is what a narcissist does best and how he gets away with what he does for so long.
Stay strong, sister!
Zari xo
Ciuvas
July 7, 2015 at 8:02 amSociopaths/narcissists think they are powerful because they try to control all situations, while in reality this control is exactly what makes them most vulnerable to events that are unexpected.
Stacy Seidlik
July 6, 2015 at 2:07 pmRead your book a few months ago and it really helped in getting over my 5 yr relationship with a narcissist. Things ended when i found out he was cheating with numerous women last summer. I broke things off but he stalked me and threatened to kill any guy i dated and then kill me. He did slash my tires and my friend’s tires so i got a restraining order. I already had blocked him from my phone and fb. Things are relatively drama free but i just ran into him and it was hard. It rattled me but i just read sone parts of your book again and i felt calmer. I knew if i was with him he still would be at that bar with the same trashy kind of girls i saw him with. That revelation felt good. He would still do the same thing if he was with me or not because he never cared about me or my feelings. It finally clicked.
Zari Ballard
July 14, 2015 at 4:36 pmHi Stacy,
Thank you for writing and for reading my book. Isn’t it great when it all finally clicks? In a millisecond, suddenly everything makes sense. Even though running into your ex was hard, look at it this way: you already got that over with. It’s been a little over 2 1/2 years for me since I laid eyes on my ex (the day he walked out never to return) and I have yet to have that experience of bumping into him around town. Mentally, I prepare myself every time I venture out but I know that nothing can really prepare us for that moment. Ultimately, it’s how we feel as soon as the moment passes that counts. It’s that CLICK that we can all hope for!!!
Stay strong and write anytime! I’m here to support you:)
Zari xo
Cass cary
June 30, 2015 at 5:58 amIt helps when you get to a point of hating the narcissist.
My N had been manipulating me seven years after the breakup. We were never “a couple” again, but “best friends” he called us. Laughable and rather disgusting to me now, as I believed this man had changed. It took me 15 yrs to realize he wasn’t merely emotionally abusive-he’s a damned sociopath who has never loved me. NEVER!
This creepy, crazy individual is just that in my eyes now. A shell, an empty thing not worthy of my unwavering love and devotion. F$&* HIM.
I know it’s poisonous to feel hatred, but I can’t help it…and it’s better than loving an abuser.
Zari Ballard
July 6, 2015 at 2:32 amHi Cass Cary,
Thank you for writing and, as always, I’m so sorry that you had to experience any of that bullshit. Look, I’ve never been one to bad mouth the “feeling hatred” part of getting over the experience. It’s simply not as poisonous as you think and actually quite necessary. The longer we stay in that phase, the less the relationship amnesia, and the quicker to a full recovery. Everything passes with time so allow yourself to feel it. After all, he deserves it and YOU deserve to be happy!
Stay strong and write anytime!
Zari xo
Random person
June 29, 2015 at 11:06 pmi. Narcissists are completely different than sociopaths. Narcissists manipulate people in order to get admiration and attention while sociopaths do that for the fun of it. Narcissists care deeply about what others think of them while sociopaths do not(that’s why narcissists cannot take criticism) Sociopaths know they are hurting people, and enjoy doing so while narcissists are unaware of their harmful effects on other people. Narcissists just do whatever they have to to maintain a steady narcissist supply to support their “false self”. Sociopaths do not have low self esteem(that is heavily guarded with a “false self” and do not experience embarrassment or shame. There are different levels of narcissism ranging from covert(the ones filled with shame, guilt, and rage) to psychopathic(which this article is confusing all narcissists to be)
Zari Ballard
June 30, 2015 at 12:34 amHi Random Person,
I agree with all that you’ve said except your very first statement: narcissists are completely different than sociopaths. Nope, not true. The way that I see it, the only thing that separates the two is the level of evil within. In other words, all sociopaths are narcissists but not all narcissists are sociopaths…. but they are both exactly the same at their foundation. A sociopath, though, will take the evil just that much further than a narcissist just as a psychopath is a step up from a sociopath. That’s all it is…what they’re willing to do to get what they want. It’s a slightly different mindset but just enough so to warrant a different label, that’s all.
Aside from that, I have known many narcissists (including my own) that knew damn well how they were making the people around them feel. This is how they control and manipulate…through their ability to “read” people, to see how they tick and then use it against them. Narcissists do NOT get a free pass as in “they know not what they do.” What holds them back from, say, being a sociopath is their covert way of “using” other people to get what they want…narcissists are more willing to play the game according to the world in which we live. They’re not happy about it but they’ll do it because the benefits are many. A sociopath is sloppier but will take it that much farther to get what they want faster. Neither the narcissist or the sociopath gives a fuck about anyone but themselves but they each have a different way of dealing with the world.
No matter how you look at it, they’re both bad, bad, bad. I don’t buy into the psychobabble because in the end it comes down to what we know and what we’ve experienced and then all the mumbo jumbo of definitions and labels and levels don’t mean shit. Evil is evil, albeit in varying degrees and once you accept that, only then can we even begin to deal with it. My article wasn’t at all confusing narcissists with anyone or anything. I was sharing the thoughts of a sociopath from another blog because, indeed, everything she describes is exactly what everyone endures before finding their way to this site. Picking the brain of a sociopath is one of the best ways to read the narcissist.
Zari
random person
April 3, 2016 at 9:05 amI am the invisible person you speak of. I have wasted 35 years on a man and he is simply waiting for the day I will die. No he doesn’t say it but does acts it. I have atrial fibrillation and a beign brain tumor. Also some other minor problems. He is absolutely infifferent. I need the health insurance and I have dogs I don’t want to lose. He cold and indiffrrent. Never answers me. Goes off with his friends. Ignores me when Im with him. Hundreds of girls flirt with constantly. I look about 20 years younger than my age. to him I really don’t exi s t except to do housework and keep my mouth shut. NEVER HAS THERE BEEN A RESOLUTION TO A PROBLEM. I am so trapped until my time comes. If you are young run don’t walk away!!!!!
Zari Ballard
April 4, 2016 at 4:03 pmDear random person,
You are NOT invisible but I sure wish there was a way I could wave a magic wand and make HIM invisible, that’s for sure. I hope for you that someday you will be well enough to take your dogs and make the great escape. Until then, understand that you are not alone and that our lives are all but interchangeable when we’re involved with these creatures. You deserve to be happy and it is never too late. Write me anytime…I am here to support you, sister….
Zari xo
M
September 23, 2015 at 9:51 am@Random person, try having someone who is “BOTH” in your life. I just recently left a Narcissistic Psychopath and the blending of the two is excruciating for the Non.
Upon thorough research and pulling together all the info/facts… It is logical to believe that ALL psycho/sociopaths ARE narcissists, BUT not ALL narcissists are psycho/sociopaths. Psychopaths have genetic components in the brain which puts psychopathy and npd on the same continuum. If born with normal acting brain (Nons), a child can learn to become a NPD person by a parent and usually an abusive upbringing. So, NPD can be taught vs. genetic.
I have had SEVEN BPD/NPD’s cross my path, some were lovers, others were friends. NONE are in my life right now. Prior to this last one is the one that messed me up badly and I took several years to self-work recover. I go and put myself back out there and what relationship lands in my lap? Another Psychopath/NPD.
I recently discovered I am an Empath and years ago learned I am also a HSP. I have been HSP since childhood and Empath most likely since late 20’s perhaps?
Somehow they find me!
~M P.S. No matter how much time a NON spends with these types, the: pain, abuse and damage is all relative.