I didn’t sleep with anyone’s husband, by the way. Never did, never will. But I’m sure many women slept with my narc thinking he was single! I can’t very well blame them for that. Do you think narcs start a conversation by saying their married?? Narcissists present themselves as single sometimes for YEARS, living two lives on two ends of town. Partners don’t know their “satan” is “satan” until it’s typically emotionally too late and THEN it’s hard to believe you’ve been fooled like that for so long. The narc, of course, is busy doing damage control the whole time to both sides, telling MORE lies. You can guarantee that whatever your narc husband or wife narc tells you about the other woman or man is a lie to cover his own ass. So, while you’re trying to “figure” out what to do with “satan”, he or she has been creating a whole other life with someone who believed the lie just like you. A married narcissist is worst predator of them all. I don’t think you quite understand that. Somehow I get the feeling you’re still trying to give the married narc the benefit of the doubt.

My whole idea of love, passion, everything were based on my belief that he loved me and still does. Now I am beginning to realize how sadisc he is to me, withholding kissing me, and laughing at the torture he puts me through. “I didnt let u talk to me and kept hanging up on you because I thought its funny to upset you” is completely sadistic. For 14 years I have been completely in love with this man. Triangulation is a given after we have gotten what I think of as close again. He always tells me abou tthe one he has lined up, sends me naked pictures of her, shows me the presents he bought her.. There are times he will not talk to me for months, not see me for years, but he always seems to know. How can I be in love with someone that does this?

Sadly, he isnt my last. After one time he left me for another, I was determined to find a new relationship…which ended up being with another narcissist, one not as smart or cunning and more with fits of rage. I had a child with him for all the wrong reasons…so I am currently dealing with two narcissists at the same time. I feel like I am in a snake pit and am just trying to keep my son from turning into one himself. I also feel like I have no idea who I am….14 years of me, are all a lie.

This sounds about right. I married a narcisist when I was 21. I found literally thousands of sext messages he was exchanging with other women, most of whom were married. He had met with tons of them. He especially targeted married and pregnant women. His reasoning? You can’t get pregnant if you’re already pregnant. Sick mindset if you ask me. He made up A very sad narrative about being a sex addict who loved me and called his infidelity his “struggle”. He went through tons of pastoral counseling, and ran circles around the counselor until he showed his true colors one too many times. that resulted in him being one of only three people in 25 years to be asked to leave our church. I have been fighting for a divorce for over a year now and it has been extremely hard to get rid of him. He convinced a good chunk of our mutual friends that I am the one who cheated on him (never did) and demands I stay single now. They are bad news.

Why are you single women or married women sleeping with our Husbands?? You deserve to have to your hearts and souls RIPPED OUT more than us Wives have to go through because little immature girls like you spread your legs for these narc psychopaths and the Wives (or husbands) have to go thru the worst betrayal and turmoil of their lives. I love the way everybody just skips over these “Poor Me I’m Committing Adultery Too” baby sad stories.
GET YOUR OWN MAN (OR WOMAN). STOP FN WITH OUR HUSBANDS AND WIVES!! LET US FIGURE OUT TO DO WITH THESE PEOPLE FIRST
Adulterers go to HELL Just remember that when you’re screwing and having affairs with our wives and husbands. YOU ARE COMMITTING ADULTERY WITH THESE SATANS.

I think it depends on what type of narcisisst. The narcissist I’m married has divorced all of his wives as soon as he realized he was unmasked and the supply dried up. He is a all or nothing, everything must go his way or the highway, and negotiates his own divorce or treats you like the living he’ll if you don’t comply. He makes you suicidal hoping you leave everything behind to maintain your sanity. He’s divorced times and have lots of x girlfriends.
Wish narcissism was more of an everyday discussion. I never knew of livebombing and covert narcissism till it was wayyy too late.

low self esteem ,fear of being alone, kids involved…but ME, i couldnt do it …trust issues, std’s, my heart would be broken

It was so awful. I spent 3 years of my life with a married narcissist and I can say is truly HELL. Everything seemed so perfect at the beginning, love bombing at its best. But I should have known better. He declared his love for me after 3 months of texting and told me I was the love of his life. He ran great miles to prove all he was feeling for me and I swallowed all those lies like candy corn. Those individuals are amazing at lying and compartmentalization. No regrets, no fear of getting caught, which made me believe all his stories. His charming ways and narrative, made Everything feel so safe and truthful, not for a minute I thought he was just manipulating me. But after a year and a half, I started to walk on eggshells. Even when he made things wrong, I was the one asking for forgiveness. Gaslighting, even when truths were right on my face, I couldn’t just not believe him. The thought of leaving him was frightening but so were the thoughts of staying in that relationship. They charm you in every way possible, even during sex. You just can’t resist him.
My advice. When your gut feeling tells you, something is not ok, it’s not. Thankfully I got out of it by leaving him, but it just got worse. He treated me like a whore and started the love bombing stage with the wife he swore by the health of his own kids, didn’t love. Took some time so heal, but the peace I gained from the breakup , finally revealed itself. Good luck and RUN Away as fast and far as you can !

Hi Joan,

Married narcs are the worst of the worst. I am so sorry that you went through all that…it sounds very painful. He is a liar and a cheat and if his wife chooses to stay, then let it be HER problem. You have no reason to be angry with yourself and what will that do anyway after the fact. Forgive yourself and be grateful you got out when you did. Stop looking at social media because it is the mind-killer…I know it’s hard but you can do it. Book some time with me if you need to chat. I would be happy to help you:)

Hi Diane…You have to know that your husband insisting that it’s your fault for not accepting the second wife is RIDICULOUS. He is either a typical narcissist who is blatantly trying to manipulate and gas-light you about something he knows IS NOT THE NORM simply because he got caught cheating OR he is a polygamous asshole and a narcissist to boot. Given that he’s never mentioned such a thing, I’d have to say he’s just a horrible narcissistic asshole who got caught messing around and it’s the only excuse h could pull out of his ass. Either way, is any of this okay? No, of course it isn’t! Are you actually QUESTIONING whether maybe it IS your fault for not accepting the fact that he wants two wives? I sure hope not. Is polygamy legal where you are? Probably not. I would kick his ass to the curb and take him for everything he has got just for the fact that he had the AUDACITY to GIVE that excuse for his cheating. To say that, is to completely DISRESPECT you and insult your intelligence. I have a feeling this isn’t the first time he strayed, only the first time he has gotten caught. Do not buy into his LUDICROUS blame game. Tell him to take a poll of friends, family and co-workers to see if they too would find you at fault and to let you know what he found out. He is really a jerk and you have got to know you deserve better.

Hi Jac, the dynamic of this type of relationship is not that simple. I guarantee that most of us said the same thing before getting involved with a narc yet here we are. All narcs are cheaters but not every cheater is a narc. Cheaters come in all shapes and sizes and this particular website is talking about a very particular person…a narcissist. Narcissism is a disorder based upon behaviors and only those who have engaged with the madness could understand. My suggestion is to read through every article on this blog, watch my YouTube channel and learn to recognize the signs so that you never fall under the spell. You are young so start now! Narcs are very good at what they do and it can – and has – happened to the best of us. Thank you for stopping by and commit to staying educated….

Hi Shannon, look…I know that deep down you KNOW that he can not tell you a date because THERE ISN’T ONE. Married narcs will tell you a tale and never back down from it. Of course he has lied to you….narcs can speak words, let the lies roll off their tongue while looking you in the eye and holding your hand. But they are full-on liars. I hope and pray you have still blocked him. YOU CAN DO THIS! Consider booking some time with me, girl. I have helped many a girlfriend of a married narc break free from the bullshit. You don’t have to tackle it alone…narc slaying is what I do best:) Think about it…you deserve to be happy…xxoo

JOn, wow, you did the right thing and you are absolutely CORRECT. Like I always say, the female narc has the male narc beat hands down in the evil department. She is the worst of the worst, brother. NOTHING you could have ever done would have changed the outcome. Whether we stay or go, they simply continue on the same trajectory. So this being true, we need to be confident in the truth that we know…then, choosing to leave is truly a no-brainer. xo

Hi Pauline, I am SO grateful that you KICKED HIM OUT! You go, girl!! Let him be HER problem once and for all. With your back behind which to do evil things, the dynamic of life becomes very different. Eventually, she’ll find her way to my website and others like it as they all do. And so be it. Now you can breathe and do whatever the hell you want! Big hugs, my sister!

Luckily I had the sense, and the strength, to leave her straight away. She carried on seeing him, even though she was trying to get back with me. I’m pretty sure she’d have carried on seeing him if I’d have stayed, or got back with her.

I knew life would be hell if I stayed.