A Sociopath Exposes the Narcissist – (Part 1/3)

narcissist-sociopathIn my opinion, there is are no differences between a narcissist and a sociopath. Both follow the exact same pathological relationship agenda and can be equally as evil to the people who love them. That being said, it has become apparent to me that there are certain self-diagnosed sociopaths who beg to differ with my way of thinking. To this pompous bunch, being labeled as a narcissist is…well…kinda like an expert being labeled as an amateur and the debate, as you can imagine, can get quite heated.

This group of sociopaths/narcissists (S/N) that I refer to hangs out on a blog/forum that, for the purpose of this article, will have to remain nameless. The reason for this omission is not because I don’t enjoy the site because I do (in a sick, “puts-knots-in-my-stomach”  sort of way), but rather because I’d prefer it not to appear as if I’m promoting these people, that’s all.

Now, before I get to the point of this post series, let me say that this website is run by an anonymous female sociopath (FS) whose gender was also anonymous until just this year when she finally self-published a book and really couldn’t hide it anymore. It seems to me, though, that there are still those S/Ns who regularly visit the site that aren’t so sure…so who knows (and who cares, really)? This FS (as I’ll call her/him) writes the majority of the posts (guests write the others) and what she writes about is being a sociopath. That’s it. On the right side of the home page is a list of about 40 topics of which there are at least 5 – 10 articles per topic available to read.

Believe me when I tell you that this is some scary shit. If you ever wanted to know what a narcissist is thinking when it comes to sex, cheating, relationships, having no conscience, lying, manipulation, porn, why they can leave you in the blink of an eye, why they come back, what they think of us (a.k.a. empaths – meaning “those who have empathy), all that….well, this is an appropriate place to start.Now, how much of the content on this site is contrived (e.g. writing what they think empaths want to hear), I have no clue – maybe some, maybe none – but it makes for some interesting and very distressing reading. Not only are the site moderator and guest writers sociopaths, so, it appears, are the majority of the commentators that show up to elaborate, debate, and commiserate with each other. And these are (or at least they appear to be) some highly intelligent sociopaths who, I might add, are suspiciously wonderful writers. Every last one, in fact. So, again, what’s contrived and what isn’t, who’s to say? And if all that weren’t enough, the comments are unmoderated (per an actual warning on the site), so anything goes – and, believe me, it does. Much of the content is sickening, of course, because not a single word on this site is what anybody coming to this site would care to or ever want to hear. Or do we?

When-love-is-a-lieI thought, for this post series, I’d do something a little different and offer up some actual blog/article content from this website to complement my topic of the hour – compartmentalization. Compartmentalization – aside from being a long, twenty-letter word – is what narcissists do inside their twisted heads so that they don’t have to give a shit about us before, during, and after the Discard.  A narcissist’s victim is always left wondering how this person could possibly do what he does to a someone who so obviously loves them and has stood by them. These and other similar unanswered questions make up the nucleus of our heartbreak. Narcissists, of course, know this and the intention of the discard (in the way that they do it) is to break our hearts like we’ve never had them broken before….to cause us the most pain possible….to make sure that “moving on” is wiped off our emotional To-Do List for years to come.

Compartmentalization is how a narcissist or sociopath justifies evil actions and silent treatments and lying and infidelity and, according to the aforementioned FS and her followers,  it’s actually a very organized process. What I am going to show you in A Sociopath Exposes a Narcissist (How They Do It) – Part 2 comes right from the horse’s mouth and it will make your skin crawl.

We’re going to use the words of a self-diagnosed sociopath to expose the narcissist’s game strategy.


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  • Carrie

    February 3, 2016 at 7:05 pm Reply

    There are a few sites like you described I’ve come across . But only one female name I have seen so far. Who is open and admits to being a sociopath. I gave to agree with you . Pathetic is a word that comes to mind and I also feel it’s laughable the way they go on trying to tell us what they think we want to hear, which is nothing really. I don’t want to hear anything from a sociopath or a narcissist. Do you? I’m over it. Life really is too short.

  • Rachael Meghan Peterson

    December 4, 2015 at 9:57 am Reply

    I was wondering if my boyfriend has a personality disorder he has in the past looked up porn and does not and refuses to communicate with me about financially raising children and he keeps changing his mind consently about marriage and he even got our daughter taken away and kidnapped and family abuducted by my evil and pathological lieing and abusive parents who adopted me when I was a baby and neglected his children and refuses to belive that is true.Plus he makes me lock myself inside all day and tells me that I should get a job but how can I do that when my parents who adopted prevented me from working and refused to let me grow up and this is financially his fault for not giving a crap about his children and that’s why know I being illegally prevented from working but he’ll never understand this because he financially gave up on me and our daughter financially anyway and never understands me.Also he is very controlling and gets mad and very angry if I go outside and yell and scream and hit me and shovves me against the wall and I was even pregnant at the time also but he didn’t know that at all at this time though if if I do go outside alone without him being here so how does he expect me to get a job if I can’t go outside alone when he’s not here and there’s no time after he gets of work everything is closed by then and he niches,yells,and screams and says hes to busy on the weekends to keep driving somewhere to get job application forms also so how does he expect me to get a job?I’m broke,angry,hungery,confused,stressed,childless but we have children he doesn’t give a crap about but says he loves and misses only one of our children because he doesn’t know at all about my second pregnancy at all,alone,scared,worried,feel violated,hurt,and many many more feelings he barely gives a crap about.He also has terrible outbursts of anger and frustration and changes his mind all the time.Also he has terrible communication problems and hates to talk to me at all.I was wondering if my man has a personality disorder?

    • Zari Ballard

      December 21, 2015 at 11:40 pm Reply

      Hi Rachael,

      Honestly, I’m not going to answer your question does my man has a personality disorder? Please re-read your post to me and you’ll have your answer. When I read stories like yours, whether or not he has a “personality disorder” becomes a moot point. Does it even matter? HE’S SICK IN THE HEAD. Grab your children and go to the nearest shelter when he’s not looking. First, have him served with a retraining order so that you have something legal in your hand in case he shoes up. Go get some services to help yourself. You are NOT incapable of working. There are plenty of single mothers out there who struggle to support themselves but at least they’re trying. Please don’t give up on yourself because of this bully. Pack a couple of bags for you and the kids and run for it. ANY PLACE YOU END UP IS BETTER THAN WHERE YOU ARE NOW. There are shelters, food stamps, job services…..do what you have to do and don’t let anyone tell him where you are.

      You don’t have any other options, girl, you really don’t. You’re going to have to bolt to begin life over and to provide your children a better life. Please let me know how you do…

      Zari xo

    • Carrie

      February 3, 2016 at 7:18 pm Reply

      I know it’s really hard to deal with things once you finally have the real truth about someone you love. You will probably be in denial on and off until you have had enough and then you can start to move on an heal eventually once you take your life your heart, your mind back into your own hands (with God’s help even better) and the self respect you deserve and once you start to finally move forward you will get to a point where instead of feeling dismayed and victimized the people who treated you so awful and targeted you , will start to be laughable. Their tactics will be laughable. It will be okay not to feel any empathy or sympathy for their bullshit anymore. Just keep that for yourself though you don’t want to invoke anger in them if they try to get back in your life. If you have to have a person with a major personality disorder that can’t be fixed or changed like sociopaths and narcissists you can still get to this point, it just might take longer. Hang in there and keep your heads up. Feel free knowing you are NOT problem and it’s NOT your fault so stop beating yourself up.

  • Vittoro

    July 9, 2015 at 2:53 am Reply


  • Jules

    January 13, 2015 at 1:59 am Reply

    Hi Zari,

    I’ve read both of your books “When Love Is A Lie” and “Breaking Up With A Narcissist”. I appreciate so much the information you share. I’ve been involved with an N that lives directly across the street from me in a modular park. I’m 57 and he’s 55 years old. So much has happened I couldn’t begin to to say it all and don’t know quite where to begin. I’ve been through discards and him parading woman in front of me (in his driveway). He told me, during one of the discards when I tearfully asked him “why??!” that “you never know who you’re going to meet along the way but don’t worry it won’t last…it never does”. He would then (and I shamefully admit I cooperated) have me for ‘side action’ while seeing whatever woman was his latest fling. Then, he would eventually discard her and go back to me and then along would come another….rinse and repeat….rinse and repeat. Family and friends don’t understand why I continue to see him and I have stopped talking to them about any of it cause quite honestly I don’t have an answer for them. I’ve tried no contact so many times always to return. This last time was just before Thanksgiving when I overheard a conversation he was having on his phone about some woman he had been “having lunches” with. Then, a week later I played super sleuth and contacted a woman I suspected he was still communicating with (although he had told me on numerous occasions how much he hated this “devious bitch” – his words). This woman used to live next door to him where we live. One day, after spending time with me at my place, he started out the door, turned around and came back in and proceeded to tell me that he had seen her naked before and described how nice she was to look at, and that his only regret was that he didn’t get a picture of her. He keeps photo albums of pictures of all the woman he’s been with, pictures of their private area (I don’t know how explicit I should be on here). I was absolutely blown away and didn’t even know what to say. He then turned around and left. This was completely out of the blue, we hadn’t been talking about her or anything. Anyhow, I contacted her and found out he had been stopping by her house, sending her ‘pictures’ of himself and had recently asked her out to the movies. She had no idea we were seeing each other. I managed no contact for about two and a half weeks before I finally talked to him. It was non stop texts, calls and knocks at my door (he lives directly across the street from me). Of course he said it was her fault that he was in contact with her… he said “she led me astray”. When I ask why he would want to go to a movie with her when he says he despises her and his reply was “I just wanted to go to a movie and you weren’t talking to me”. About the pictures, he said “she sent me the first one so I thought I should send one back”. He said I was making a big deal out of nothing. Said it didn’t mean anything to him so it shouldn’t matter to me. Then, when I didn’t budge came all the proclamations of his love for me. Said I was “his girl” and he has no attraction to anyone else. Anyhow, (I know I’m rambling on) I finally gave in. He was nice guy for all of about 2 weeks then the subtle little remarks, that have me wondering what he’s up to, and the comments about other woman that he works with, etc. began again. Then the past couple weeks he started in with all the flattery towards me like how he’s not attracted to anyone else, and even if he was with the most beautiful, shapely woman he couldn’t get excited cause it wouldn’t be me, how know one in his whole life has turned him on like I do….and on and on it would go. Told me I’m his “favorite girl”. “Favorite”?…I thought I WAS his girl. He kept on telling me, a lot of the time right out of the blue (even stopped a movie we were watching to tell me that I’m the only woman he’s attracted to.) This went on so much that I just knew something was coming. He’s done that in the past and it would always preclude a discard of some sort. He always calls me on his way home from work and we would see each other to watch a movie or go to dinner several times a week. I would get texts, pictures from him every day. If I didn’t actually spend time with him each day I would have some sort of communication. Then, about a week ago the daily texts and phone calls stopped. I ask him why he didn’t call anymore on his way home (he typically works a distance away) and he said he didn’t know….guessed he was just “busy driving” and didn’t think about it. I asked him why he didn’t text and he told me I was being silly. Then, the other day I ask him again about it and he got mad and said he was “concerned” about me and my negativity and how all his life nothing he does is good enough and how I’m making him feel like his mother did when he was young like he’s a disappointment. Told me I’m emotionally unstable but said “I still like you though”. He told me it wouldn’t bother him if we didn’t talk for a few days at a time and he can’t believe I’m getting upset about this. I told him that all of a sudden he’s stopped communication with me and I don’t understand. He kept taking the conversation back to how I was making him feel like a disappointment. It’s been total silence since then and I feel like I’m going to lose it. I don’t know where he’s at when he’s not home. I can only wonder. I am so filled with anxiety and worry and I feel so worthless. Like to suddenly be just wiped away is unbelievably painful. I know I should be grateful for this and periodically during the day I feel like this is it. “This” time I WILL go no contact for good. Then, times like right now I don’t think I can stand it any longer….I can’t believe I’m letting him get to me like this. How can it happen when I know what he is and know all the typical tricks he’s pulled over the years?? I feel so hurt and i don’t even know why. I’m so confused and I’m afraid I’ll never get away from him. It’s all I can do to not try calling him or texting him to tell him I’m sorry for saying anything to him. Is it me? I am actually wondering if I ‘am’ being negative. Like I ‘am’ acting ridiculous. Please give me your opinion… Thanks so much!

    • Zari Ballard

      January 18, 2015 at 5:18 am Reply

      Hi Jules,

      Thank you for writing and I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. Yes, it certainly sounds like you’ve been dealing with a narcissist who obviously is very good at what he does. Like you, I stopped talking about it altogether to anyone simply because I couldn’t explain my own behaviors or why I kept going back to the abuse. It was so much easier to just stay quiet. I completely “get” that, believe me. But the truth is that nothing about anything you’ve described is normal behavior – NONE of it. At some point we have to ask ourselves if this is the way we want to spend the rest of our lives because it becomes very clear that HE will not stop. YOU are NOT the problem and never have been and a narcissist only returns to ensure that you never recover from the pain he has caused you – and that’s the only reason. This being true, why it becomes acceptable for us, I’ll never know. I, too, apologized for just for the sake of apologizing when I had clearly done nothing wrong. It’s frigging ridiculous. For this guy of yours to keep a photo album of the private parts of every woman he has slept with is sickening to say the least and the only reason I can think that he would even tell you about it is because he knows that he can tell you ANYTHING – no matter how shocking – and get away with it. It’s EVIL and the only one who can stop it is you. I know what’s it like to want to text him, call him, write him but this is your life we’re talking about and he will gladly waste it away for you if you continue to allow it.

      No Contact is the only way for you. If I were you, I would move as quick as I could. If I couldn’t do that, I would at least block him from being able to call you or even change my phone number. Do not answer the door and do not respond to or even read notes or letters left on the door. The fact that he is across the street is definitely a problem but it’s not an IMPOSSIBLE problem unless you are living in something you won. There has got to be a way for you to get out from under his horrible thumb. Seriously, he has NO redeeming qualities, I don’t care WHAT it is. This is my opinion, sister….

      Zari xoo

      • Jules

        January 21, 2015 at 1:13 am Reply

        Thanks for your reply, Zari. Everything you said is so completely true and I know it but have such a hard time accepting it? I don’t know. I do know though that for me getting away from him is the only way I’ll ever be free. I simply cannot be this close and not get sucked into his evil games. He told me one time, about himself, “I’m evil and you KNOW it” He told me to look into his eyes and told me there is nothing but dark, cold & emptiness. I don’t think I truly embraced it at the time but I know it’s true now. I suppose he wouldn’t have said that to me if he didn’t feel he already had me hooked. He started talking to me again but I know something is going on or about to. He makes plans and then changes them up suddenly or acts out of character. I keep telling myself that I need to trust my intuition. It’s just so hard when if I express any of my concerns to him I know he’ll turn it all around on me and then I’ll start doubting myself. But, if I don’t say anything then I’m constantly in a state of anxiety. And, when I look at what I just typed I see the answer screaming at me….GET AWAY! It’s soooo hard. How did you do it, Zari? How did you stop the constant worrying and wanting to check up on him and obsessing over things? I know from what you wrote that you went through it for a long time. What FINALLY was the last straw for you to say NO MORE and stick to it??

        • Zari Ballard

          January 25, 2015 at 10:50 pm Reply

          Jules wrote...He told me one time, about himself, “I’m evil and you KNOW it” He told me to look into his eyes and told me there is nothing but dark, cold & emptiness. I don’t think I truly embraced it at the time but I know it’s true now.

          Hi Jules,

          I think I remember mine saying something to the effect that he “was really an asshole, you know”. HAH! The little tid-bits of truth that should have had us running in the opposite direction!! Please download my books When Love Is a Lie and Stop Spinning, Start Breathing from Amazon because they both explain my relationship, what happened, and how I finally got over it…I swear, you’ll think that we dated the same guy. My ex was FAMOUS for making plans and then disappearing the day before as if he’d never made them. He did this over and over and over. It’s called future-faking and here’s an article that talks all about it. And as for being obsessive, I was crazed all the time, trying to keep my mouth shut about my suspicions, and filled with anxiety to the point that I got addicted to Xanax. It was awful. I had to really change my perspective on everything and I did, slowly but surely. The books are cheap and they will empower you, I guarantee it. I got so good at figuring him out that I could predict almost down to the minute when he would leave and when he would return. I go into detail about all of it in the first book and the second book is all about getting over it and the questions we have to ask ourselves. You’ll see…get them and read them back to back. You’ll feel a whole lot better about everything, I promise you.

          Stay strong and ALWAYS trust your intuition. If you think he’s up to something, he IS. If you think he’s lying, he is. If you think he’s cheating, he is. But at some point we simply have to say enough is enough and stop chasing the bullshit. If we don’t do it, he never will because, for him, the game just never gets old. Our suffering is the narcissists reward for a job well done. It’s been two years and three months since he walked out never to return and I just let him go. I had to. And, sister, I’m just fine now. And you will be too:) Get the books today!! You’ll see yourself on every page.

          Zari xo

  • Evi

    October 12, 2014 at 8:39 pm Reply

    Hi, Zari!

    Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. OK, so to answer you questions, no, English is not our first language.
    I am still in London and he showed up (and hoovered her) exactly one week after I left, using our dad’s not feeling well (and his supposed care for him) as an excuse. So, at this time they are all lovey-dovey or whatever it is called. I only called her once just as this was happening (this was a coincidence) and then the following day to beg her not to be sucked back in, but she was anyway, so haven’t called since (17 days). I don’t want to say anything any more.

    • Zari Ballard

      October 13, 2014 at 3:28 am Reply

      Hi Evi,

      Thank you for the update…All you can do is be there for her when and if the time rolls around again. In the meantime, you have your own life to tend to which is just as precious. Always remember that I’m here if you need me. Anytime!

      Zari xo

      • Evi

        October 13, 2014 at 9:34 am Reply

        Thank you very much, Zari!
        I was quite disappointed I must say. when I called that evening and he was there, my sister’s carer tells me that my sister did not want to mention this to me at all, but he insisted, like “give my regards to Evi”. she says he wanted me to know specifically that he was back. Anyway, thank you for your support.,

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