The Narcissistic Personality: When Love Is a Lie

Confirm. Validate. Relate. Escape.
You can let go of a narcissistic partner!
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Author Zari Ballard

Author Zari Ballard


Author Zari Ballard blogs about the narcissistic personality, the pathological agenda of all narcissistic partners, & how to fully recover from the abuse.

Zari shares a plan for mentally letting go of a narcissistic partner that works even when literally breaking up with the narcissist isn’t a viable option. It’s a personal plan for empowerment that begins with accepting the fact that the narcissist in your life is someone who will not and can not ever love you back. As hard as you try, you will never ever change this person.  How much time are you willing to waste?

The time is now to stop wasting precious time and start saving the rest of your life…

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When Love Is a Lie is Your Story


Zari’s self/help memoir, When Love Is a Lie (available in Kindle and in paperback) has become the surprising relationship game changer for hundreds of victims of narcissistic abuse…and it can do the same for you. Based on her own 12-year experience with a narcissistic partner, Zari shares her story in a straight-up conversational style that has won the hearts of readers worldwide. She holds nothing back, explaining in detail the narcissist’s orchestrated use of passive-aggressive manipulation, why we become codependent on the very drama that we hate, and most importantly, what we can do about all of it to save our own lives.


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Any relationship involving a person with a narcissistic personality disorder (npd) will inevitably turn dark in ways that are deliberately confusing. We stay in the relationship thinking we can fix this person or love them out of their bad behavior, but the truth is that a narcissist (just like a sociopath or psychopath) can never be fixed – not with love, therapy, or any magic pill under the sun. Our codependency and suffering fulfills the narcissist’s pathological relationship agenda and makes the monster feel vibrantly alive!

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When Love Is a Lie will guide you towards accepting the narcissistic abuse for what it is so that you can actually move on with your life. Breaking free mentally is the key to breaking free altogether from someone with a narcissistic personality and Zari’s story provides an intuitive way to begin this process. It’s a doable solution that will get you on the right path to becoming narcissist-free.

When Love Is A Lie breaks down the signs of a narcissistic personality, exposes the narcissist’s way of thinking, and explains exactly why a partner with a narcissistic personality

  • is completely incapable of even pretending to have the love-worthy human qualities (the undeniable truths!) that are essential to life itself. Use these logical truths as a foolproof way to mentally break free from a narcissist!
  • will use the Silent Treatment and similar demoralizing methods of control to punish those who dare to call him/her out on questionable behaviors
  • will create constant narcissistic chaos and turmoil even – and especially – during the “good” times as a tactic of keeping you in a heightened state of co-dependent anxiety
  • will juggle many, many relationships at once – often for years on end – with no one being the wiser…not even you
  • lies even when the truth is a better story

When Love is a Lie will make you laugh and it may even make you cry but, above all else, it will provide confirmation and validation that YOU are not the problem.

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When Love Is a Lie & Stop Spinning


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Empowerment starts NOW and you deserve to be happy! Break free from your codependency to the nonsense and from the trauma bonds that the narcissist in your life has so carefully created.  Zari’s books will show you how.  Her second book, Stop Spinning, Start Breathing is a journal-style workbook filled with interactive written exercises to help manage the memories that keep victims addicted to the narcissist. The perfect companion to When Love Is a Lie, Stop Spinning is all about following the mental path to narcissist abuse recovery.

I wasted many years trying to second guess myself even after I had discovered the truth. I became intent on turning him around…on fixing him..on loving him out of his bad behavior. I wanted our relationship to be the exception to the rule. Sadly, by developing a twisted codependency to the narcissistic nonsense and the relationship agenda itself – I, in essence, became the suffering. Scouring the internet forums, devouring books and articles on narcissism, studying about sociopaths and psychopaths…it appeared that all of us – every girl and guy (and, yes, there are many, many guys who suffer the same fate) had relationships that were completely interchangeable!

Then, one day I took a good new look at the old big picture and something shifted. Somewhere between the 100th silent treatment and the grand finale of discards, I finally let go and after that, everything began to change.  In the end, even with my heart shattered in a zillion pieces, I never shed another tear. I realized that I had to give up the need for closure and commit to no contact in order to feel peace – and the trade-off was well worth it.” – Zari Ballard, 2014

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Visit Our Article Archive on Narcissism

“I created this blog to share what I know about narcissism in relationships. I’ve been there, rocked that and  I can help you.  Browse my articles on  the narcissistic personality, the behaviors/tactics of narcissistic partners, codependency, the Silent Treatment and more. By offering you a place of support and understanding, my goal is to change the outcome of your experience. ”  – Zari xxoo

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A Sociopath Exposes the Narcissist – (Part 1/3)

In my opinion, there is are no differences between a narcissist and a sociopath. Both follow the exact same pathological relationship agenda and can be equally as evil to the people who love them. That being said, it has become apparent to me that there are certain self-diagnosed sociopaths who beg to differ with my […]


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