The Narcissistic Personality: When Love Is a Lie


Author & Narcissist Abuse Recovery (NAR) Coach Zari Ballard blogs about narcissism in relationships, the behaviors/agenda of the narcissistic partner, & how victims can fully recover from the abuse.


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In her book, When Love Is a Lie, and on the pages of this blog, Zari shares a mental strategy for letting go of a narcissistic partner that works even when (literally) breaking up with the narcissist isn’t a viable option. It’s a personal plan for empowerment that begins with accepting that the narcissist in your life is someone who will not and can not ever love you back. As hard as you try, you will never ever change this person.  All the love in the world will never make a difference. You will always give your all and get nothing in return. Given these facts, how much more time are you willing to waste?

This blog is filled with stories just like your own and personal anecdotes that only those who’ve ever experienced this type of relationship can understand. If you seek validation for the mind-boggling behaviors of a manipulative partner, then you need look no further than this website.

The time is now to start saving the rest of your life…

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When Love Is a Lie


When Love Is a Lie (available also in paperback) continues to be a relationship game changer, resonating with thousands of victims of narcissist abuse worldwide.  Based on her own experience and written in a straight-up conversational style, Zari holds nothing back, explaining in detail the narcissist’s orchestrated use of passive-aggressive manipulation, why we become codependent on the very drama that we hate, and most importantly, what we can do about all of it to save our own lives.

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Any relationship involving a person with a narcissistic personality disorder will inevitably take a dark turn. We stay in the relationship thinking we can fix this person or love him/her out of their bad behavior but the truth is that narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths can never be fixed – not with love, therapy, or any magic pill. Our suffering fulfills the narcissist’s pathological relationship agenda and makes the monster feel vibrantly alive! When Love Is a Lie will guide you towards accepting the narcissistic abuse for what it is so that you can actually move on with your life. Breaking free mentally is the key to breaking free altogether from someone with a narcissistic personality and Zari’s story provides an intuitive method for beginning this process. It’s a doable solution for everyone that will get you on the right path to becoming narcissist-free.

The truth is that getting over these types of relationships where we get addicted to the very drama that we hate AND to the person who is causing us the pain is all about changing our perspective. We have to get to the point where we actually realize the situation for what it is…where we accept that it can not change. Then and only then can we pull away and actually begin the life that we deserve..

Confirm. Validate.
Relate. Escape.

 When Love Is a Lie

When Love Is A Lie breaks down the signs of a narcissistic personality, exposes the narcissist’s way of thinking, and explains exactly why a partner with a narcissistic personality

  • is completely incapable of even pretending to have the love-worthy human qualities (the undeniable truths!) that are essential to life itself. Use these logical truths as a foolproof way to mentally break free from a narcissist!
  • will use the Silent Treatment and similar demoralizing methods of control to punish those who dare to call him/her out on questionable behaviors
  • will create constant narcissistic chaos and turmoil even – and especially – during the “good” times as a tactic of keeping you in a heightened state of co-dependent anxiety
  • will juggle many, many relationships at once – often for years on end – with no one being the wiser…not even you
  • lies even when the truth is a better story

When Love is a Lie will make you laugh and it may even make you cry but, above all else, it will provide confirmation and validation that YOU are not the problem.

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