Yup, that’s right!

Hi Jon…haha! Towards the end, I was SURE there were two phones going at all times, yet he never answer had to answer while I would just trip all over myself trying to get to my phone before the last ring. Such tricky bastards, those narcs, eh? xo

I once knew one who had a phone that had two different numbers. I asked him why he’d want that. He said it was so if he rings someone and they don’t answer, he can try the different number and see if they pick up. He was happy to trick people into speaking to him!

Yeh, phones are definitely a tool for the narcissists mind games. They expect you to be on constant alert if they want to contact you at ANY time of day. But try and get hold of them? Forget it!

I’m happy to have helped move you forward!

I like you was told he wanted to wait. It was also at the 3 month mark and just like yours. Mine started to ghost me (his term not mine) he would hardly see me, maybe once a month. If zi asked to see him or I tried to call Inwas always ruining his day or weekend. He would also call me stupid, make me feel bad and crazy for wanting to talk and work things out. I have never felt so horrible about my self. Mine also never affectionate, after sex he would either get up and leave or hand me my cloths and walk me to the door. I felt like a worthless whore. Our last fight was over the phone, he said the vibe had changed with me and that he was done, this of course was after asking why he had no time for me and why he could not talk to me by phone at his home, he hung up on me, and then I let in on him Lied said I had been with someone who was able to please me in bed That I thought he was a huge piece of shit, and how zi deserve a king and not a toadstool, I have not heard anything from him in 4 weeks, I have had a lot of local numbers calling but not leaving messages. But his number is blocked. I am glad it only lasted 5.5 months. And he was 51 years. Geesh what a child he was.

Thank you Zari I don’t think I would be doing this good dmso soon had I not found your books

Hi TBerry…yes, these games will continue forever and ever. Women speak with me who have left 70+ year old narcs and older WHO ARE STILL DOING IT. I’m sorry about the picture. I know that narcs have been known to do that and it’s very hurtful. The intention is to put something permanent in your head so you’ve got to kick it out. It didn’t mean anything to the narc, believe me. He likely has many pictures, none being any more important than the other. Never look back…you have all the proof that you need! Thank you for visiting and keep reading…blessings to you!…xo

Back at ya, sister:) xo

Haha yes!! Never trust those types of people. I just feel sorry for the next woman that falls in his trap. It has been a really up and down experience but I know soon enough he will be completely out of my system. Thank you for this blog sister. Breaking up with a narc isn’t easy and it’s great to having all this support xx

Awesome Kat! Wow…so grateful to hear that. Keep up the great work…one day at a time. (And yes, pitch black darkness behind the you-know-what…LOLOL…yikes!)

Stay strong, sister:)

xo

Hi Zari,

Thank you for your kind words! I found out a lot more about him.. that him and his friends bullied his ex, he had a coke habit and he’s been writing a lot of nasty stuff about me on Facebook. He also has a dating profile now and his photos are so deceiving. Photos of him being sporty when really he doesn’t train anymore and is an drug addict lol.

But yes the Freemason thing was a big warning sign. Lol yes, “brotherhood”.. he tried to explain it to me without revealing too much, something so dark about it!

But yes I’ve been narc free for a month now and I’m feeling great!

Kat 🙂 xx

Hi Kat,

Block this guy and never look back. Hate to say it but the fact that he’s a Freemason is reason alone to stay away. Nothing good about that very secretive and highly immoral “brotherhood”. Do it for the good of your life and for your future:) Wishing you all the happiness in the world. You are doing the right thing…

Zari xo

Wow this sounds like my on and off again guy. Very weird he gave my the first silent treatment within two weeks of meeting. And was very insecure about everything. He was a liar and was supposed to help me with an investment but Instead spent my money on outings with Friends. He tell me he’s done for good when i confront him about anything. Then Id miss him and go back and he’d accuse me of seeing other guys then we’d be back on for about 3 weeks. Then he’d disappear again. Unannounced. Id text him and no answer and my messages left unread. Then I’d try NC and go back. He would eventually respond once he thought i was gone for good. This last time i found out that I’m not the only one and confronted him. He’s blocked me but left one outlet open. I’m guessing so that I would use I️t to come crawling back again. I don’t even know what I miss about him. I’m just attached to nothing really. I really want to move on. It’s been going on for a year and a half. My heart literally aches with anxiety especially first thing in the morning. Therapist here don’t take narcissists abuse serious. I’ve never been with anyone who shoes this type of weird behavior. He would randomly respond to my texts with the middle finger or calling me out my name. I want to text him on the outlet he left open for me. He has already stalked me online from this backup page he has which is still open. I know he left I️t open on purpose. I’m so confused.

Hi Shay needs to get over him,

I love the story of him at the door – my ex was just like that. He pound on the door and when I finally opened it, he’d stomp down the stairs, get in his truck and drive off! LOL Talk about GAMES….AND he would change is number. It’s truly awful and manipulative behavior.

Believe me, the love will fade. All it takes is time. If you get a chance, please read my book When Love Is a Lie because it will sound like your life on every page. Life is way too short for all this nonsense. Wishing you the best…

Zari xo

I had only been with my ex for 7 months but it was very intense from the get go and the ending was messy. We got into a relationship 11 days after meeting each other. When we had our first date, he told me a lot of very personal things about himself – that he is a Freemason, that his ex fiance cheated on him and that he tried to kill himself years ago (I know, why did I give him a second date) but now I realise it was to paint this picture of him that he has always been the victim and to show me he would never put me through hell because of what he has been through.

In this 7 months he has broken up with me twice, the first time around he was so apologetic and in his words he “wanted to give me another chance” – even though his narc mother called me names and he was being a drunken prick (yes, he was an alcoholic as well which caused a lot of our fights) but this break up – which I think was the Grand Finale was different because he has blocked me off everything, had told mutual friends he is happy to be rid of me and that I’m insane and the last time I saw him he was so cold and disconnected. When he tried to break up with me a month ago he went from crying because he was scared he was going to lose me to 4 days later telling me he doesn’t love me and that he wants me out of his life to 2 days later sleeping with me to another 2 days later being so disconnected and saying he doesn’t care if he doesn’t see me again. I tried calling and calling to get closure but all he has done is tell me to never contact him again and he has avoided me and for about 2 weeks now so I’ve left him alone because I’ve realised I don’t want to waste anymore energy on him.

He would put me down so much, he would call me names and apologise then do it again, he never cared about what I had to say he would always put the focus on himself, always on his phone, never paid attention to me, always craved power (that’s why I think he has blocked me). The whole time he kept saying “for me to be with you, you have to go on anti depressants and go to therapy” which I did to make this work when now that I have had time away from him that I’m not the problem and that he is! He is the one that never got over his ex – he even cried about it one of the last times I saw him.

I’m just really glad I got out of this – yeah he has blocked me off everything but thank goodness because I don’t want to see what he is up to. I just look to the future and what if we lived together and he came home drunk one night and we had an argument, he probably would have hit me. He has been really close to many times.

In your article, you said blocking them so you’re not waiting around for them anymore is the best thing you can do. So I’m going to do that! He’s hoovered me before and I won’t let him do it to me again. Although I don’t think he will. His mask finally came off and I saw him for who he really is.

THEN he started accusing me of being a liar and sleeping with everyone. He’d flip over silly things. Then he’ll ignore me. I started to feel very drained. I constantly had to reassure him that no one slept over at my place. Then he’d video chat so he could see what I was wearing and if anyone was home with me. If I didn’t text back immediately or answer the phone he would accuse me and get mad then ignore me. He ignored me for almost a week and treated me very cold because he said it sounded like I was performing oral sex while I was on the phone with him. It’s like he’s attacking my character. I had to admit someone was at my home to make everything better. I lied just to make him stop ignoring me. Then he called me that same day like nothing happened and we had the best make up sex. It’s very weird and childish. I started to walk on egg shells to minimize his mood swings. I realized I was changing to fit him. He’s asked me for money and I’ve given it but he hasn’t given me a thing. I’ve notic d he lies about a lot of things. I found out about another female so I’ve been trying to leave him alone but it’s hard. He’s tried to show me her picture but I refused to see it.

Just recently I decided to try no contact because he’s controlling, insecure, jealous, and a liar. He called me back to back then popped up at my place and knocked on the door really loud. I opened it and asked what was going on. He looked at me, got in his truck, and drove off. I called him and asked why he was asking that way. He said I played too many games and a man was there then hung up on me. I texted him that I’m not going through this. You’re bring disrespectful and some other not nice things. He said ok, don’t call me again. Two days later I called and his number has been changed. I’m upset it’s changed. I want to go to his job and confront him but that will just help his ego. Instead I’m leaving it alone. A huge part of me misses him though and I’ll be happy when the love I have for him fades away.

Hi Trying To Move On,

I know I sound like a broken record but consider booking some time with me or at least reading my book. You CAN get over this without all of the suffering. You WILL feel joy again. We’ve all been there and I know it feels as if you will never feel normal ever again or stop pining for his nonsense. But the truth is that it just takes being proactive and changing your perspective about what happened…seeing it (and him) for what it’s really all about. It doesn’t do any good to be “disgusted” with yourself after the fact…I can’t tell you how many stupid one or two word texts pulled me back in to the abyss after weeks of silence. Eventually, it all must end…and it will….sometimes, though, it helps to have a support system on your side that knows exactly what you are dealing with. Recovery is a team effort, sister…

Zari xo