Don’t assume it’s always a male partner. My bitch of a girlfriend broke up with me on Christmas Day after getting presents from me for her and her 2 daughters!

Hi Jeff, the whole point of this blog is to share my experience with others who have experienced the same so we can learn from each other which is the way it should be. And no, it isn’t our “fault” that we didn’t have boundaries in place when we met these people. Typically, up until the point of meeting narcissistic people, we had never had an reason to sit down and make a boundary list. Now, of course, we all have them but that’s the way life works…we live and learn. A person doesn’t typically grown up thinking about boundaries that might get crossed later on. If you did, well, I’d have to say that you’re the exception. Thank you for writing!

Hi Dylan, no need to feel sorry for my son. That was a long time ago, he’s 30 now and doing great and we have as tight a bond as we have ever had. The whole point of my blog and book is to share my experience with others who have experienced the same so we can learn from each other’s mistakes and understand our behaviors….and that’s the way it should be.

Hi Kelly,

I hope you are having a peaceful 2018 and staying away from you-know-who. Read my book When Lover Is a Lie if you can because you will relate to all of it. There is a way to rise above this, girl. I know it has been awhile since you posted your comment but if you find yourself back in it, please also consider booking some talk time with me. There are answers that could save you from all this sadness. I will hope and pray that you have found a way past it, sister….

Zari xo

Hi Emma, thank u for sharing. I do think it absolutely can help someone. Stay strong and please check back. Don’t allow your guard to drop and stand strong in keeping him away. He WILL eventually get the idea and then he’ll be on to another target. I know it never seems like that day will come but it does!

Zari:)

Hi Dani,

Well, it has taken me this long to get back with you but you through the holidays! I can only hope and pray that 2018 is YOUR year and that you can escape the clutches of the monster. Any guy who shows a pattern of leaving on the holidays or on any birthday IS A NARC THROUGH AND THROUGH. Mine did it every year for 13 years…shame on me for allowing it. Please read my book When Love Is a Lie if you can because I talk all about it. I am so sorry that you gave up so much to be with this jerk….this is a good example of HOW MUCH we WANT TO BELIEVE. You have to let go and save the rest of your life because this is as good as it gets, girl. He just doesn’t care.

Stay strong,

Zari

I came across your blog recently having been discarded by my ex narc via text a week before Christmas. We had an arguement the day before and he proceeded to give me the silent treatment for 24 hours before sending me a text saying ‘we don’t work as a couple, that I throw tantrums and he can’t see a future with someone he constantly has to walk on eggshells with’. This is the second discard in a year, the last one lasted two weeks before he came back.
I tried to not let him ruin my Christmas and NY but I’ve been miserable. I’ve spend the past 2 weeks reading your blog and researching NPD and it has helped me incredibly. At first, I couldn’t understand how the man I loved could go from talking about wanting to marry me, trying for a baby to breaking up with me by text because of an argument just like that- it just didn’t make sense but now it does. I am only on Day 7 of NC, and I am struggling still, especially late at night and in the morning. I wake up in the middle of the night with palpitations thinking about who he is talking to, has he replaced me already, did I really mean nothing to him? No one understands the pain I feel and so I plaster on a fake smile and pretend everything is ok when it’s not. I quit my job a few months ago because we were going to try for a baby and he didn’t want me working, he isoltated me from my friends because he said they were bad influences, I feel so alone and incredibly lonely. I spend most of my days crying in bed, I am ashamed to admit. Even though I know in my heart that I shouldn’t want him, I do. I’m praying this gets easier with each day of NC.

I haven’t read the article yet, was too busy laughing and thinking ‘oh yes, that was my ex’
it’s been 5 weeks since I found out about his latest other woman and realised he had at last, thank christ, crossed my final boundary.
He’s hoovering like a mad ‘un now! Lol.he has yet to understand that this is, most definitely, it. He told me she was his contingency plan! Well, let’s see how that one works put for ya!
And, talk about down grading haha ..
Sorry, i digress!
Yup, every Christmas, every Birthday some ramped up narc psychosis would wreck the buzz.
In three years I never had a birthday card, Christmas card or present. He would storm off to an ex, before Christmas and spend it with them, telling me how they felt sorry for him and bought him a present.how kind and thoughtful they were. Meanwhile my Christmas is ruined. I’m in bits. Never mind all the presents I had bought him and my family had bought him. He came back one year a few days after christmas, and announced to me on january 6th, his birthday, that he was going to another ex for a few days. Again leaving my heartbroken and alone with his birthday cake and the ingredients for a special dinner.
Jesus, just thinking about that … was i that far gone? That was my existence for 3 years. As well as the violence.
Any way, I’m going to read the article now and have a good old chuckle at the narcs!
Thank God I’m free now. Massively damaged but free.
Your articles are superb,, Btw! Absolutely spot on 🙂

Hi Kerry,

Narcs are not beyond saying they will get counseling to get you back. At least you had an amazing holiday because I’m sure that YOU deserve it. Now, kick his ass to the curb. Narcs NEVER mean ANYTHING they say. Don’t waste another minute of your precious time….

Zari xo

Hi Charlene,

I hope you are okay, sister. Listen, I am going to my personal email right now to send you a copy of my book When Love Is a Lie so please look for it. I will sent it to the email that you used to post your story. I believe that it will bring you much comfort. You can do this…..

Zari xo

Hi R,

Well, it could have been planned because narcs like to break up with us on or around important dates so that we always remember it. And what do you know – it worked! And don’t expect her to feel and remorse or empathy – she’s a narc, after all. If she felt any of that, she’d be at least partially normal. But she’s not, my friend. She’s just doing what narcs do…and female narcs are the worst of the worst…

Zari xo

Thanks

Hi Jayne,

I apologize for the delay in responding. Narcissists don’t really care WHEN they act like jerks. He probably acted like a jerk right before his birthday so that 1) he could go out and celebrate without you, or 2) he could blame you for having a rotten one. That’s really all it is. Now, having said that, he’s a grown man who shouldn’t DEMAND anything for his birthday. I hope you were able to get your money back. He’s not worth a penny, that’s for sure.

Zari:)

Sorry didnt make it clear, the Narc doesn’t live with us, our son lives with me.