Comments on: Co-parenting With a Narcissist 101, Part I https://www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/co-parenting-pt1/ When Love Is a Lie Sun, 12 May 2019 19:12:35 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 By: Zari Ballard https://www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/co-parenting-pt1/comment-page-1/#comment-6446 Thu, 28 Jul 2016 22:12:38 +0000 http://www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/?p=3250#comment-6446 In reply to Cynthia Brown.

Hi Cynthia,

Thanks for writing and I’m glad you found your way here. Be careful about that trip…just make sure that you know EXACTLY where he is going and check it out the address before…google it just so you know exactly where to go if you had to. I didn’t even write in the article how, after that incident at the airport, he moved to California and every time my son went to visit (for the next ten years!), I would fly with him to meet my ex, make the exchange, and then turn around and get on a plane to home. I just wanted to look my ex in the eye so that he wouldn’t get any ideas. He HATED that I did that but that was okay with me. Who knows what they think? You can’t trust them as far as you can throw them.

I will have Part II up this week. It’s all about showing nothing but detachment and indifference…in other words, no emotion because that is what they want. It’s all a ruse and they will do it as long as you allow it. If you ever want to talk about it, I do provide phone consultation support and would be happy to talk with you. And get that child support, by the way! That’s a whole other story I could share. Mine went basically ten years without paying even though we had a court order and when I went for it balls to the wall I got IT ALL BACK starting with a lump sum of $30K (they took it right out of his AND his girlfriend’s bank account) and with the last payment being just five years ago when my son was 24 years old. So don’t give up but don’t let him get away with it at all.

Let me know how it goes, girl!

Zari xo

]]> By: Cynthia Brown https://www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/co-parenting-pt1/comment-page-1/#comment-6439 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 21:28:07 +0000 http://www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/?p=3250#comment-6439 Have you written part II yet?? I came on this form for the first time today after reading When Love is a Lie last week. Stop Spinning, Start Breathing arrived in the mail today. I have been in this relationship for 20 years (not married, thank goodness now) but do have an 11-year old daughter. I just came across narcissism 4 months ago and have been “spinning” ever since. The past 3 years have been hell for me, but now I have answers to a lot of things. Right now, I have been in a panic since July 4 when he talked to our daughter. He has not seen her in 7 months. He told her he was coming here to KS from ND to pick her up and they were going to go see his family in SC. He talked to me after that and oh, I was invited to come along too. Really? This was a day after he just spent 2 weeks with his other woman that is just a “friend” instead of seeing his daughter. No thanks. I have been in the same panic just like this article you wrote…Kidnapping her! He does not talk to his family hardly at all and has not seen them in 3 years. I can still see phone records and know he has not talked to anyone about picking them up or staying there or coming there. I don’t know where I stand with them as they “like” all of the other woman’s Facebook posts and vice versa so I could just be made out to be crazy if I fill them in on what I think. I don’t talk much with his family either, never have, just how you doing, etc., and I’ve lied about that for 3 years. So, my thoughts are he’s not going to show with an excuse, kidnapping, or going to come and take her but meet up with his other woman and her kid somewhere which is hard to really believe because our daughter has no idea what he has been doing all this time and to do that would be cruel (but I’m learning narcs don’t care). She just thinks he’s been working to much to come home. There have been no plane tickets purchased. At this point, I don’t even know why I am writing this. I have no idea how it all got to this point. This man has never, ever hit me or even acted like he would. I have never been afraid of him, but for some reason I am now when I think about standing up for myself and my daughter. I don’t know what he would do. My daughter has cried after he talked to her about the trip. She says she doesn’t want to go. She says she doesn’t know him anymore. She says he is like a stranger to her. It has been 7 months since he has seen her and their Facetime and text conversations have dropped dramatically this year. I only text when he asks me a question worth answering. I still get the I love you, I’ll always love you, I’m so depressed, I want to work this out, tell me what I need to do to work it out, and a couple days ago the request for phone sex which I definitely did NC to. What a jerk.. Before he saw her at Christmas 2015, it was 6 months since he had seen her and she acted different around him for a few days. It’s so sad. I have started looking for lawyers for child support this week. I guess my plan is to see if he shows up here. If no plane tickets, I am not letting her go with him. If he wants to go to the airport and get tickets, we will follow him there to make sure where he his going and watch them get on plane. I will contact his brother who I think I can trust to see if he knows anything. He has come here before and I never worried when he would take her to town for the day and come back, but I am such a wreck over this right now. All the lies that I have been told and have believed all these years are killing me the more I understand this disorder. I have a long lost friend who has gone through this with her ex who is helping me, but I sometimes think I hinder her recovery dealing with mine and her own memories. Thanks for listening! I have a great family support, but this is all new too them and they just don’t get why it’s been hard for me to just get out, but we are starting to understand the hoovering tactic and what it does.

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