Articles About Narcissism – Zari’s Blog

Narcissist Abuse: Getting a Grip on Relationship Amnesia

However you may feel about the narcissist in your life, it’s important to know that he/she didn’t get this way overnight. Our brain often refuses to believe this. Every day, I hear from both women and men who adamantly insist that they were blind-sided by certain narcissistic behaviors. The source of their pain is a

Don’t Be a Narcissist’s Enabler

At that grandiose point that we realize that our partner is a narcissist/sociopath, we can also assume that we’ve been his/her enabler for a very long time. Our codependency to the narcissist and to the relationship drama itself has almost has as much to do with our allowing it as it does with the narcissist’s

The Narcissistic Partner is a Pretender Extraordinaire

Since the narcissist is unable to feel true human emotion (except for, perhaps, rage), he has, throughout life, learned to mimic the emotions he needs to get exactly what he wants. He is a pretender extraordinaire…an emotional impersonator…..and it’s no wonder we fall for The Lie because this person is really very, very good at

Plausible Deniability is the Narcissist’s Free Pass

When the narcissist is confronted with a lie, he will instantly create plausible deniability so that doubt is cast on the very facts/evidence laid out before him (or her!). Within seconds, a narcissist can spin a story to cover a story to cover a story, intentionally confusing the accusing partner who has typically taken great

Narcissist Abuse & the Torment of Cognitive Dissonance

By definition, cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort a person feels when he or she holds conflicting beliefs about something simultaneously. When we’re involved with a narcissist, cognitive dissonance is a psychological state that keeps us clinging to a narcissistic partner even when we know he/she is completely incapable of ever loving us.   In other

Narcissists, Sex, & the No-Preference World

When it comes to narcissists and sex, we have to understand that the narcissist has no preference in who they fuck. No preference at all. In fact, a narcissist lives in a world of no-preference where he/she finds something fuckable in everybody. Once we understand and accept this, we see clearly that the problem isn’t

Letting Go of the Narcissist = Releasing the Past

To begin to let go of the narcissist, we must release the past and choose to live in the here and now. This, my friends, is the only answer to the (heart) aches and pains that we feel after it finally ends with our narcissistic partner. There was nothing we could have ever done, no

Reflections on 13 Months of No Contact (Re-post)

It’s been many, many months since the narcissist vanished into thin air, granting me the Grand Finale of Discards that I’d always known he’d give me on his way out some day. However, since I am always asked if it’s really possible to escape the madness, I thought I’d re-post the following article that gave

5 Undeniable Truths: A 2016 Narc Recovery Recap

As 2016 comes to a close,  I thought it important to run a recap of the major points – the undeniable truths – that are key to our recovery from a narcissistic abuser. In my book When Love Is a Lie , I use the term “undeniable truth” to describe what I consider to be a “truth”

Narcissists, Holidays, & Dealing With the Christmas Grinch

The narcissist will always be the Grinch that steals our Christmas. With that said, I bet I could leave the rest of the page blank, letting you fill in the blanks! Yes, it’s that time of year again, friends! Readers who suffer the Holiday Discard will always understand what I’m talking about because narcissists and

Narcissists, Holidays, & the Seasonal Discard

With the holiday season upon us, those in relationships with narcissistic partners will be doing some extra special suffering. Narcissists are legendary holiday buzz killers and, if the narcissist is your partner, you could end up in any one of a number of situations depending upon your place in the narcissistic queue. Yes, as the

Narcissism In a Nutshell – Connecting the Dots! (Book Excerpt)

Although I’ve written several detailed books about narcissism in relationships, I’ve come to realize that there are those who want nothing more than a quick answer to that one nagging question: is he or isn’t he? Based on my correspondence and conversations with narcissist abuse victims worldwide, this is, indeed, the question of the hour

Our Post-Narc Life & The Angst of Emotional Residue

So many of us who successfully move on from a break-up with a narcissist still, for various reasons, feel what can best be described as an emotional residue. It’s like an icky feeling that we can’t quite seem to wash off no matter how hard we try or how long this person has been out

Why a Narcissist’s “Break-up” Never Seems Real

Narcissistic partners may discard us but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we will feel broken-up. Narcissists may give us the never-ending silent treatment but that doesn’t mean we feel any more disconnected. In fact, it’s quite the contrary. The more a narcissist “breaks-up” with us, the more irrationally connected we feel to this person…sometimes to

Co-Parenting With a Narcissist 101, Part 2

In Part I of this series about co-parenting with a narcissist, I discussed the simple facts of sharing children with someone who has a narcissistic personality. I explained that, no matter what, the situation is never going to be, for the narcissist, about the well-being of the children. It’s always going to be about you.