Comments on: What Exactly IS a Narcissist? Connect the dots

By: Sick of BS

Sick of BS — Sat, 02 Nov 2019 08:11:48 +0000

Don’t feel a fool Cheryl…as Narcs & sociopaths TARGET people with feelings esp those that work in the field of ANY compassion. Their ultimate crazy goal is to make a mockery of your CARE in the end – but they USE it to get close. These ppl are wired without feeling or any ability to care or have compassion…NOT really their choice (sadly enough)…but they have LEARNT to work it. Their minds are STUCK in a juvenile phase of pranks & fun to get stimulus – coz, with NO real feelings…they ARE perpetually BORED. And that’s where they are FUN at the beginning.
However, that said…they CAN’T be changed or re-educated as they MISS the brain link of CARE (ie. empathy) – even proven to be a pre-cortex problem link…& because of it…they enjoy causing chaos in people’s lives…as that gets THEM excited to feel something. Many have a HIGH IQ for intellect (many quite handsome & witty)…BUT they will ALWAYS lack empathy (so NO emotional IQ)…& that WILL turn out a problem if you HOPE on a caring intimate relationship.
You could never hope to admire a sunset or appreciate NATURE with a sociopath as they really see NOTHING…altho they can pretend they can…but over TIME U will see otherwise.
Once you start to work them out – unfortunately, many can turn nasty….as juvenile children do.

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Fri, 26 Jul 2019 08:05:41 +0000

In reply to Cheryl.

Hi Cheryl,

You are not alone. I have had several professional therapists call ME for a narc recovery consultation. You didn’t see the signs because I don’t believe the textbooks really lay it out there and besides, love is blind. If you’ve never experienced it, how are you to know? I don’t buy into the blame game because the narc did plenty of that in the relationship, right? So, cut yourself some slack, girl. Now, with your new knowledge, you’ll be better equipped to help others going forward. No blaming or beating yourself up. These are covert and deceptive people.
You are just fine the way that you are.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Sun, 14 Jul 2019 18:45:58 +0000

Imagine my surprise as a therapist to realize I had been in a relationship with a narcissist for 5 years! Apparently I had some personal healing to do. How could I not have seen the signs? How did I not recognize the lack of boundaries? Many of my friends and clients ask these same question, we all feel betrayed – not only by the narc, but by ourselves. PS I’ve seen a pattern of strong powerful people being the target for narcissist. Cheryl

By: Denise Ulrich

Denise Ulrich — Sat, 06 Jul 2019 09:40:28 +0000

How do I know for sure if the man I love is truly a narcissist or just severely scared from the ex wife who ended up cheating on him( after several years of supposedly a great marriage )with the neighbor and when caught, Left him and their two girls moving in with the other man? The man that I love, will call him B. He Ilooked me up through Facebook sending me a text through messenger once his divorce was final. Sidenote, I’ve known B for over 25 years but we did not stay in contact over the years. He probably dated a handful of times but nothing serious, although when we started talking as I recall he didn’t make it sound like we had much more of a relationship back then. So and start of my story with B in August of 2015 at the time of his first reaching out to me after all these years I had just relocated out-of-state to better my career and take a new direction in life. We communicated for a few months via the phone which consists of thousands of men to mod talking every free second we had texting each other consistently and sharing pictures, Heartfelt love quotes etc. he told me everything I wanted to hear and all I dreamed of within a relationship. I thought he was the perfect man and fell head over heels quickly. That October my third granddaughter was born and I took a trip back home where B pick me up from the airport and we spent an amazing week together I did not want to go back nor did he want me to. We continued the long distance love affair where he repeatedly told me he love me over the next several weeks but one day I came out that we would not work with me being so far away. So I made the choice to move back home and in with him. Things were mostly great over the next three months or so even though it was a challenge due to his ex-wife in which he painted a pretty awful picture of her as being crazy and unstable. I believe every word he said due to her actions and consistently attempting to try and contact him. He was pretty open with all this in the beginning with me but then seemed to start hiding the fact that she was contacting so much. He stopped tell me he love me, there was no infection unless I initiated I knew nothing was as he made me believed it would be. We were back-and-forth even to this day several times in and out of this relationship. When I was gone he made no effort or if he did very little and contacting me I will always make the first move and go back. And still over the next few years never told me he love me or would we have and intimate relationship. I voiced my feelings several times but he just made me sound crazy and that he just wanted normal that I left him too many times and I needed to now prove my love to him before he could love me. But every little thing I seem to do seemed to irritate him setting us back and always causing Hurtful arguments. Sure he would throw me a bone every once in a while making me feel special and having sex which would bring me right back to head over heels. This all is just a very small portion of our love story together. But in listening to your book when love is a lie I was shocked and how much I felt I could relate to. We currently do not live together and haven’t for months but the contact is still there with more of him reaching out to me and showing his affection for me making it feel more real than he has over the last few years. Why do I love this man so much? I will was always so strong willed, I am very self-sufficient and there was never a man I couldn’t walk away from, including my ex-husband oh my was married to for 16 years. Believe it or not I see now even though we were not great marriage material we are best friends. So as I sit here writing this I still question could there ever be true love between B and myself or is he that narcissist playing games with my head? I’m so confused!

By: Marie

Marie — Wed, 08 May 2019 18:10:50 +0000

Had someone from my past haven’t spoken to in years or seen In years literally four years ago come and contact me and threaten to expose my pictures telling me they gonna cherish them with millions of men I told them it was a crime they didn’t care said make sure I spell their name right kept harassing me even sexually harassing me through text making up lies about me saying they did this and that to me some pretty degrading sex acts that never truly happened because I was a virgin when I met them I ignored it . They even tried to ask me questions about my life and my relationship and even suggested I had a daughter which I do and never told them that info about me saying they like milfs and just harassing me and the saying they’ll take care of me and my child and give them a child dump my loser bf and even sent me a picture of their bank account saying they are rich and bullying me and telling me I was always to broke too see them etc. I swear I feel mentally ill I had no idea this person was such a monster like this my jaw dropped never have I encounter so much evilness they felt they was justified even acted like they were the victim and I was the so called bitch telling me I haven’t changed and I’m this and that. This most ludicrous experience for me I even had to get my poor bf involved because I didn’t know how to react or handle the situation it was too much to bear let’s say I had to change all my contact info email number etc called cops they didn’t do anything because he lived in another state they didn’t seem to care much just told me to block him. I’m paranoid I’m scared and fearful of this person I’ve been having nightmares can’t rest peacefully anymore this such traumatizing experience that I thought only happened in movies it became my reality pls help me get some insight on this because I’m puzzled

By: Leila deurell

Leila deurell — Sat, 04 May 2019 12:27:00 +0000

In reply to Zari Ballard. I know that narcissism is not the holy grail of mental illnesses. It is not a mental illness per se but in the DSM5 where the symptoms of personality disorders and mental illnesses are stated. There are diagnostic criterea in there for diagnosticians. I was a psyc nurse for 30 years. Personality disorders ar the hardest to work with. A borderline personality disorder patient of mine said she did everything to get me fired, go firgure. I may have been misinterpreted by you.

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Sat, 04 May 2019 07:35:15 +0000

In reply to Hector Lagos.

Hi Hector,

First, I think she’s just too young. If indeed she is a narc, you need to know that the PRIME for a woman narc (as I see it) is around 45 and then there’s even a few years left after that! Why put up with this shit. 25 is still old enough to know better so she knows what she’s doing. I know you like the idea of having such a young girlfriend but say you put up with it for another five years, then you’ll be 50. It’s just not worth the risk, in my opinion. Think sustainability for the LONG-TERM. It’s time to be realistic. Good luck, brother…

Zari:)

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Sat, 04 May 2019 07:20:54 +0000

In reply to Margaret.

Hi Margaret,

Honestly, I don’t know the exact difference because many narcs – especially the females – like to call themselves borderlines so that they don’t have to carry the label of narcissist. I do know that the traits are nearly identical. My thinking is that a TRUE borderline is AWARE of what they are and would prefer not to be that way, know what I mean? This is the take I get. A narcissist, of course, likes themselves just as they are and wouldn’t change even if they could!

Zari:)

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Sat, 04 May 2019 07:08:57 +0000

In reply to leila.

Hi Leila,

Oh, I have to disagree as I state in the article. Narcissism is not “the holy grail” of mental illnesses, I don’t care where it’s listed and as what. It is a personality DISORDER which is based on behaviors. The verbiage of text books means nothing. Narcissism can’t EVEN be compared to mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and even bi-polar disorder, both of which are chemical imbalances. Even as it is listed in DSM 5, there is a notation that no tests have been done or studies concluded on narcissism which makes the fact that it is listed a moot point. To call it a mental illness is such an insult to people who actually suffer from mental illnesses and this is article I explain why. Thanks for writing in today!

Zari:)

By: Jamie Stewart

Jamie Stewart — Sat, 04 May 2019 06:11:00 +0000

i am questioning if my love is a narsasistic!

By: Margaret

Margaret — Sat, 27 Apr 2019 00:19:52 +0000

I’d like to know what the difference between a narcissist and a person with borderline personality disorder is. They have so many similar characteristics that us hard to Differentiate

By: leila

leila — Wed, 24 Apr 2019 22:38:11 +0000

Narcissism is in the DSM 5. The holy grail of mental illnesses. It is characterized as a personality dieorder.

By: Hector Lagos

Hector Lagos — Wed, 24 Apr 2019 06:07:19 +0000

Todos los rasgos senas y acctitud es exacta cómo la describes ,parece icreincremente fuera del conocimiento de uno que estas personas existen y están dirigidos a mi ,es increíble cómo llegué a cambiar a justificar y lo peor aceptar el comportamiento sin moral ética obcseno ella 25anos yo 48 ,ella es scort
Donde me manipuló sexual y sufrida (golpeada por el ex)
Pero a veces pienso que podría también ser Narc????

All the traits and attitude is exactly how you describe it, it seems to be out of the knowledge of one that these people exist and are directed to me, it is incredible how I came to change to justify and the worst to accept the behavior without ethical morals. I’m 48,
she is 25 scort
Where she manipulated me sexually and suffered (beaten by the ex)she said
But sometimes I think it could also be Narc ????