Comments on: Debunking the Narcissist’s Smear Campaign

By: Nick

Nick — Sun, 17 Dec 2023 20:37:00 +0000

In reply to Zari Ballard. My ex does the whole pretending to be worried about me bit. She pretends to be worried I am back on cocaine to literally everyone she can. Even though I have sent here hair follicle test results proving otherwise every 2 months for years now.. lol

By: Nick

Nick — Sun, 17 Dec 2023 20:33:10 +0000

I wish I had read this 5 years ago when I left my wife. Or maybe not. It would not have done any good I guess, because her narcissistic abuse was so insidious, it wasn’t until 3 years later when she literally made my 8 year old son cry on purpose to gain a custody concession out of me until I started to ask myself “maybe the failure of the marriage wasn’t all my fault?” Now I realize that while I was far from perfect, I was basically a good husband while she abused me emotionally. I started looking back on events in the marriage that I knew at the time were just not normal but as a defense mechanism I just ignored that knowledge and accepted the gaslighting. Then I figured out why her family, friends, and many of our mutual friends had been looking at me differently since the break up. I did pick up a bad habit for about a year after the marriage, and my ex became aware of it, but I have had scientific and legal proof I had abstained from that habit since and she has that proof in her possession. They all seemed to still treat me like I was an active addict, and now I know why. And having not been armed with the proper knowledge, I did defend my reputation to her brother and a mutual friend. Now I am thinking I could probably show them the drug test results and they would think it is a fake. I could even sign a release with the drug testing company so they could call themselves and verify, but they would think I bribed the owner. It’s pointless. The one thing I did do right, is I have never spoken ill of my son’s mother to him. Not once. It is almost automatic for me. Sometimes when I am with him and close family who I have confided my frustrations to, I will be talking about his mother to them, and then when I finish I am like “wow, I can’t believe I didn’t say anything bad about her”. it’s like a reflex. I want him to have a close relationship with his mom. She does not feel the same alway about me. But 5 years later, my son and I are closer than we have ever been.

By: Anne Wood

Anne Wood — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 03:44:41 +0000

Hello Zara, I’m so drained from all this rubbish from being tangled up with my now x narcissist friend, she was always a odd bod but I didn’t know what a narc was just thought she was over the top. I always thought I wouldn’t like to get on the wrong side of her. Over 12 years friendship I found myself in situations that I got the blame for, and when talking to her about it, didn’t help she still blamed me or others for her short comings. I’m a kind person, quiet and don’t go out of my way to hurt people. And now I’m in a smear campaign because I told my friend at the time something on the day upset me, if it happened to her I’d make her feel better by surporting her, and going out for coffee then it would be forgotten about. but with me she took it all over the town and told friends that I was mentally and very unwell and she was so worried about me. She has a vile tongue, and when you would mention the way she would talk about people she would yell at you. So over the years I learnt to shut up, we live in a small town and she has told lies, half stories ect to different people, she often say to others , mate mate you need to start yourself a smear campaign, It’s so crazy I feel I’m crazy because of it. Some peopl snub me, I had a stalker once and told her, she was upset that he wasn’t stalking her, so now all the men I know are very wary of me, and take off when they see me coming. So now I wander??? Has she said I think all men stalk me which isn’t the case, only one little man did and took me a good couple of years to shake him off. A neighbour of hers came to me and told me that ??? Is such a lovely person, I agreed but only if she new she has been dragged through the mud too, like everyone we knew together. This woman is 74 years old. The last few years her company was getting worse, throughout the years she has done nice things and sometimes over the top, and felt uncomfortable when she would do and give, I always find I owed her something, and felt she owned me. Now I see all of this as a way of keeping tabs on me. And as I have researched she is the perfect narc, Iv seen her act like a baby sometimes, and talk about people even if they were in the room, and if I would pick her up on it she would talk louder, I felt sorry for that poor person that she would be shaming or defaming. But she has a way with people and a lot of people out there, I think??? Love her even when she is talking dribble. It all came to head when she wanted things to go all her way, my father was dying at the time and I was at the end of my rope and had know patients for her, I started to stand up for my self and stopped passerfiering her and showed I was a little angry with her abusive actions, she spat the dummy and went into a rage when she sore a friend give me a huge hug, her eyes went black and in a devils voice she let me know she wasn’t happy. From that day she texted that she had know idea what had upset me, and that she hadn’t talked to anyone behind my back, your my mate she repeated. She made out she was baffled to why I was upset with her. She pushed my buttons all week long, and shamed me in public. I was in a trance and couldn’t believe this was all happening to me, and I kept letting her do it, I felt I had no controll, I rang my husband in tears, he worked away and told him what was happening, he told me to get away from that woman she is evil, and that he was sick of her abuse towards other people, and so I did I went no contact, she has tried to get to me through other people, the smear campaign has been going for over 12 months now, some people ignore me some give me a grumpy hello, some yell out a big over the top hello, and some are very unsure. I’m so deverstated I lost a lovely old friend that my narc was jellouse of and alot of town people that think I am mentally ill, I’m not disrespecting mental illness, I just know I’m not, and have never been diagnosed. Throughout this horrific odeal I’v had to work very hard at keeping my cool and still being kind to these people, I went through the depression, I don’t want my xnarc friend to know that as she makes fun of people who have it, and hates it if people cry in front of her. I still hate going up town never is a pleasant exsperience, and come home feeling down as I do today when someone I see and use to be fond off is a enemy on their part. I’ve recently been diagnosed with scalp cancer and big opp ahead of me. I wish these nasty people on no one, it’s amazing how one single person can do so so so much damage to a innorcent human being, I would have rather a punch in the face! Please don’t print email address. Looking for peace! Thanks. Annie

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Sun, 08 May 2022 08:56:25 +0000

In reply to Liz. Thank you, Liz!

By: Lynn

Lynn — Mon, 07 Mar 2022 06:04:50 +0000

In reply to Shannon Myers.

Shannon – I know this post is very old but I had similar things happen to me. A narcissist in a political activist group I was part of who started to stalk me after I refused his advances. When I told him off (being rather narcissist-illiterate at the time) he began a smear campaign that lasted for several years. He destroyed my reputation at my place of worship. He may have been involved in a harassment campaign at my job. He enlisted flying monkeys to harass me and I don’t know how, but hacked into my cell phone. He had his friend then harass me by repeating my own private conversations back to me. The smear thing spread to my job, to a Reverend at a church, to neighbors who I had hardly met.

During this period I was working on writing in a literary workshop. A new writer came to the workshop. She began to steal my writing. She incorporated events from my actual life, which I had probably shared with the narcissist when we were friends. She reads her “writing” and has a main character who looks like me, who lives in a house described exactly as my house (an A-frame type cabin, yellow) With a cat like my cat. And wearing clothing items that I posted for sale online like a red velvet carnaby street jacket, a boater hat with a red band, and other items. It’s all in this sarcastic, abusive manner like it’s funny. This woman actually found and took descriptions of things I had posted for sale on craigslist and ebay (I was moving and selling I had stuff in storage) and Incorporated this into her “story.” So now this third party is proxy stalking me on behalf of the narcissist. And of course “bad stuff” is going to happen to the woman in her crappy story…

I think people may be more likely to encounter the plagiarist narcissist in a creative field. It seemed that way to me. The original stalker was a “poet” and the woman he enlisted had already written a published novel. They were more accomplished than me but seemed to despise me although I did nothing to them. They were extremely insecure people who felt they had to become famous, although they were not famous.

By: Liz

Liz — Sun, 16 Jan 2022 20:51:42 +0000

Hi. Truly sorry for what everyone is going through! Mine made a fake post or three and made me look evil. He’s accusing me of exactly what he is! I know that this is no surprise to any of you. The key is to stand Strong. Survive, no matter what. No drinking excessively. Watch your conduct. Accept that some people will believe the exaggerated or outright false narrative. Keep your head up. Don’t fall into the role of victim. Be a survivor. He tried to kill me several times. Then played victim. One day,there will be a reckoning. God will be the judge. Accept that he or she is hurting in some way or just plain scared he’s going to be found out. If you have to,live for the day when other people get burned by him and abandon him. You can fill some of the people some of the time,but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.Its very true that within a few minutes of good people meeting him,that they didn’t like him. They tried to warn me.So, some people can see it. Not everyone is so easy to fool.You cannot fool a gut instinct.He also has nothing but contempt for anyone around him. Called them down behind their backs:-(. Just an all around nasty person. Anyways,go away for a weekend. If you can. Get a good person to support you. Deal with it directly and say, he’s got a hidden agenda. Then go on with your life. Feel sorry for someone like that. They are deeply unhappy bitter nasty individuals. I find compassion helps. Stay strong! Have faith, and fight the good fight. Be a model of integrity and distract yourself . God bless you all.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Sun, 31 Oct 2021 17:39:10 +0000

Hi Zari,

I’ve been discarted a few months ago by my N and currently trying to get through this nightmare. I made some good progress lately and I’m seeing a psychologist. I’m somehow feeling a lot better even if everything is still often really painful. The abuse I endured was nasty and I often felt like a was not a human being to my N. I didn’t not write to my N after the dumping except to get back my stuff at our place.

I’m working things through with my psy and really focus on how I feel and see things. I started to open up about the abuse I went though after the end of the relationship. All those years were lies and I still have trust issues. I know N never loved and cared about me, and never will. It seems no one really liked N because of how N treated me badly and couldn’t get along with pretty much anyone. Well, I think they don’t like my N. I talked to some of those people, they are friends we made while being a couple, and sometimes it’s people who knew my N before we were together. I told them how I felt by explaining some of the abuse I was dealing with. I had a lot of people telling me they didn’t really liked my N or tolerated my N because we were together.

I try to listen to me more to break this pattern of ignoring my gut feelings (it’s an old childhood thing) which leads to constant insatifaction and my needs being unmet. Did I made a mistake telling these people we have in common how I feel, some of the nasty things he did to me, and how I’m healing? I’m a bit confused…I really want to stand up for me and live a happy and heathy life. I also thing it means being in adequation with how I feel, who I really am.

I’m happy I discovered your blog. Your articles are so high quality content and it helps me very much.

Thank you for the time you put to read me XO

PS : if my email appears in my comment, could you please remote it? Thanks.

By: Lea

Lea — Sun, 25 Apr 2021 14:45:28 +0000

How do you protect your own children from the narcissist’s smear campaign? Often narcissists not only smears their daughters or sons but also their own grandchildren and they use them for information about you. I know the narcissist in my life does this as she has divulged personal information to me about my golden child sister and her kids when she’s angry with them. I let it go in one ear and out the other and now I’ve distanced myself from her. However if she’s doing this to my golden child sister then she’s definitely doing it to me and my kids too. What can I do to protect my children from her?

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Sat, 04 May 2019 08:01:19 +0000

In reply to Jared.

Hi Jared,

I’m so sorry for the delay in responding to my comments! I just wanted to let you know that I went ahead and emailed “David” for you with a copy of your post and your email address. I explained that you had a similar situation and perhaps he could reach out to you. The rest is up to him but I wanted to let you know that I did email him today (05/04/19):)

Zari

By: Jared

Jared — Mon, 25 Mar 2019 02:37:56 +0000

David,

I have a story similar to your own, and I have been left with no one to open or talk to. My own support system has betrayed me and undermined me continuously – as they either just think its ridiculous, only want to offer tough love, or want to manipulate to have their agenda played out. I think maybe it would be good to share stories to each other – if and when we are willing to do that (I know I have a subconscious psychological block, impairing me at times to even recall any of it). I can’t really give you my email in a public post – but perhaps Zari Ballard could email both of us – each others email address; as she can see more information than the average public user can. I have been discouraged for years – as I still have not recovered because even my psychiatrist view has been distorted by manipulate/controlling parents (I’m 29 btw…yea…what gives them the right?). I have taken traumatizing blow after blow, from all angles, always needing to defend myself. I turn for help and my legs are taking out from under me….I am frankly surprised I am opening up tonight. I am extremely avoidant and have inconsistent socialism because I know that I don’t have to explain (its a long story – as is every narcissistic abuse story it seems) or defend myself or justify my inability to function – from/to myself. I guess email me – if the possibility becomes available.

Hang in there,

Jared

{Mrs. Zari} – you hold the power to exchange or not exchange info here….

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Fri, 01 Feb 2019 02:02:19 +0000

In reply to David.

Hi David,

Wow! Listen, you sound like a very honest person who believes in doing the right thing. You’ve clearly taken the high road against some very, shall I say, satanic forces. People do pick sides but by not saying anything from here on in, by being confident in the truth that you know, you don’t have to defend yourself anymore. They have a way of tricking us into talking, defending, explaining…..you don’t have to play into that game anymore. I wish so much that you didn’t have to deal with this every week in church or during your ministries. So sorry! Thank you so much for reading here and for sharing your story. You are right, knowledge is strength and sharing is caring…

Zari xo

By: David

David — Sat, 26 Jan 2019 20:41:10 +0000

Thank you for this article Zari. I do try to remember that articles may use the male pronouns since obviously your narc was a male and I have read your letter to male victims and am comdoetable here because my covert narcopath was female. Although I now am able to keep silent and it is really hard especially at church, Unfortunately i was not in a position to remain silent in the beginning. She filed false DVO against me and enlisted mutual church friends and family as her flying monkeys and “witnesses” in court to testify. I could not afford it since I had been blind-sided and sent packing with nothing after returning from 4 weeks away helping my sister who has stage 4 cancer. I spent 4 years of my life giving everything including providing a much improved financial position to CLA includung a house only to be ruthlessly discarded in an attempt to utterly destroy me spiritualky, financially, physically, emotionally…well, you know the drill,,,me the ultimate bad guy, she the poor misunderstood unfairly mistreated victim in public, major abuser and life-sucking vampire behind closed doors. I violated the all things must be kept secret rule so the devalue process escalated rapidly and viciously into the ultimate public humiliating discard….I just did not know it yet. I only knew things were off and not awate she was narcissistic let alone sociopathic.
But i digress. I borrowed the money for a Christian attorney and after 5 grueling hours in court…..with me 3-1/2 hours on the witness stand forced to hear her malicious attacks on my character and only having to actually answer half a dozen questions that were allowed, she proved herself to be ingenuous and malicious even to the jusge (a stauch woman rights advocate). She and her witnesses had ample time to get their stories straight but each one of the six contradicted the orher wirnesses’ testimony abd the final witness actually asked the judge not to testify on her behalf. All I did was tell the truth, not embellish, pray and do my best to maintain my composure even while my heart broke and was ripped to shreds. I was completely exonerated, she was admonished and then the smear campaign especially at church ramped up.
CLA even texted my mom wanting to be friends and facebooked the one friend I had remaining asking him to be her friend. He has not to my knowledge.
I could not just remain silent and be falsely convicted in court. I did not involve anyone else. I brought no witnesses, though I had a few. ..I chose not to involve people from church. I felt it should remain a safe haven for all and serve its place of worship and Biblical trurh, not become a battleground or entertainment of gossip place. Unfortunately, again, this is not what CLA chooses to do, knowing I am actively engaged in several ministries at church. I have known the cold stares from previously friendly people and fellow-believers I considered friends.. To them I say nothing and do my best to keep things as normal. To a select few, who have renained friends and already in the know of our situation nevause of her comnents to them, or to those men who I am accountable to in each ministry I have given the briefest explanation. I never paint her as being an evil person, although her actions may be, she is just the product of an abussive childhood who now is a covert narc and unable or unwilling to change. For this, i am sad for the person I loved and for the person I see trapped inside who she could have been and never will be, but I have to remember who she is and that she has absolutely no problem nor concious to prevent her fromi taking pleasure in utterly desyroying me and leaving my life a scorched earth. For her, it will always be me or you, and I will always lose that battle. Im an empath. I can’t help but see the bigger picture and all sides of the issue. But I do need to engage in more self-care and healing. So, although I do mostly maintain a keep silent about her policy, occasionally I do talk. We have no mutial friends or family left. People seem to have picked sides, mostly hers. But, although hurtful to lose people I trusted, I am left with a clean slate of acquaintances to start fresh.
Not sure if this is the right way to approach things or not but it works for me.
I will say if I had known I was being set-up in the beginning on the same day of her final discard, I would have remained silent and not stood up for myself within earshot of friends she had already groomed to believe I was abusing and controlling her….because when I defended myself and pointed out she was not keeping her promise to me she had made just 3 hours previously this gave her “the proof” she wanted them to see and they became her witnesses in court. Ultimately, their own reputations suffered as a result and for that I am sorry. K,owlwdge is strength. Sharing is caring.
Hope this may help someone.
May God bless and give each of you strength as you navigate and heal from your own narcissistic ordeal.
DM

By: Shannon Myers

Shannon Myers — Sun, 16 Dec 2018 09:48:30 +0000

Hello. My narcissist has experience in audio and he eacesdrkpped.and recorded.conversations. I am a writer, and .my computer and devices have been hacked an d one of his flying.monkeys stole and distributed my book; now people.are.quoting.my book back ro me. I wish I had known about.keeping.my mouhr shut years ago. This man refused to leave.my life.alone. I began recording.messages to him on my personal.digital recorder, knowinf that he had somwthow tapped into it and could hear my recordings. I thought that if I siad really mean, nasty and heinous things to him that he woul d give up and leave.me alone. I was so wrong. He uses my defense method against me with all new.people that I mwet, and because of these recordings, they all thin k I am a horrible person. There is another flying.monkey born every moment, it sems, and they use overt harassment against me, trying to undermine my peace. As time goes by, I have learned to keep my mouth shut in the hopes that people will understand that my actions toward him were defensive. But I feel like am stalked. I am working hard to discredit the stigma that has been attached to me. i am not.perfect, and I have my moments, but I am not.an evil, heinous person.

By: Troy

Troy — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 00:08:20 +0000

And what about when a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder such as my father extends the smear campaign to law enforcement and gets me arrested by making very serious false accusations? After 30 years of being abused by him I developed C-PTSD and I began the process of getting away from him but then he found out and decided to regain control by using police as instruments of his abuse. The police officers who arrested me are from the Domestic Violence Unit and due to their inexperience with NPD they ended up mistreating me and retraumatising me during the interview and I was fingerprinted and then taken back to the house only be told I had 4 minutes to get what I needed before I was evicted and banished from the property. I grabbed my dog and forgot to get my medication and medical devices that Ineef due to the fact that I have a disability. I’ve now ended and up homeless and sleeping in my car due to the abrupt eviction and I’m also under criminal investigation while the abuser sits back and has a field day with the sucess of his deceit and games. The whole thing has taken a major toll on my health. And as a cherry on top, my abuser also made false accusations about my mental health by convincing police that I had schizophrenia and mental health problems in order to discredit me from exposing the truth. And it seems to be working a treat because the false schizophrenia allegation was treated as a motive for the alleged domestic violence as well as refusing to take me seriously when I tell them of the abuse I’ve endured in the past 30 years. The whole thing is so twisted and sickening and the police misconduct and negligence has only added to the problem.

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Thu, 08 Mar 2018 05:57:34 +0000

In reply to D P.

Hi DP…I would have to say that the fact that she is a woman and you work in an office of primarily women is the key to the problem. In these cases, you simply have to be confident in the truth that you know and carry on. Deep down, gossip or not, the truth really does shine through to all these idiots. They just don’t have the balls to stand up for it…it’s a shame but it’s no reflection on you:) Stay strong…..xoxo

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Sun, 04 Mar 2018 00:44:12 +0000

In reply to D P. Done.

By: D P

D P — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 19:39:07 +0000

Can you please remove my name and just put my initials, thanks

By: D P

D P — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 17:43:49 +0000

Not working in my case. I have said nothing and she has her flying monkeys spreading shit about me. The problem is that many people if not most don’t give a shit about the truth. It’s not as interesting as juicy gossip. Everyone feels bad for. She plays the victim role to a tee and people seem to be afraid to go against her flying monkeys less they be ridiculed too. So your advice, while it sounds good, and it is really the only thing I can do, is not really working for me. Maybe because she is a woman and I am in an office primarily of women. Whatever the reason, I am planning on leaving my job.

By: Roxanne Snyder

Roxanne Snyder — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 22:55:58 +0000

In reply to Zari Ballard. The reason it goes on for 15 years is because narc is still working on the flying monkeys!Just as they will stall for years,their egos are void and in contact need of control and sadistic control..not rocket science!I think narssist should be put in prison!They seriously injured people and ruin lives!

By: Glanedys Alexander

Glanedys Alexander — Mon, 18 Dec 2017 17:06:20 +0000

I have been going through this for the past 2 years regarding my youngest child’s father. Apparently I’m evil and bitter about not being “chosen” and that’s why I’m “doing what [I’ve] been doing” (whatever that means). I’m also “drama filled” “unreasonable”. Other than wanting him to follow the visitation order regarding his child and telling him repeatedly that I’m frustrated that he doesn’t make any effort to see his child except for around holidays and his birthday, I haven’t done anything (no stalking, attacking his girlfriend, threats, etc). Up until the middle of last year I used to try to defend myself against his claims, especially as it has been very uncomfortable being around his family the few times he has seen his child. One day, it just kicked in that I should just stop. I know that the things he’s saying aren’t true and that the people he’s talking to about me don’t know who I am and I don’t know them, and probably never will. All of it hurts, but the only thing I’m responsible for is how I react and making sure my kids are protected from all of it (our son is only 2, almost 3, but my twins from a previous relationship can read). Thanks for this article and sorry for this wall of text.

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Mon, 18 Dec 2017 08:23:08 +0000

In reply to Rose. Hi Rose, Choosing not to defend oneself against a narcissist's smear campaign is not the same as "not fighting back" which is not the same as a "silent treatment". When I say not to defend, I am speaking about defending against the usual narc smear campaign shenanigans because why should we when we are confident in the TRUTH THAT WE KNOW? Certainly if a narcissist ex was going around telling people that I killed someone or stole money from my employer or abused my children or that I robbed a bank, of course I would have to say something. I absolutely wouldn't allow my reputation to go down the tubes without a fight. How did that even happen? The fact that 15 years later you have no friends and all but one family member has disowned you all because of what this idiot guy said about you way back then or continues to say...well, it's very odd. If what he is saying or is STILL saying is just the usual narc bullshit and all these people - even those who knew you - actually BELIEVE the tales and still listen to them, then to hell with all of them. That would be my attitude. Are you saying that even any NEW friends you've maybe tried to make over the last 15 years..he's deliberately gone and ruined those relationships too? How exactly does he get away with it all and how are you finding all this out? I would think that, during the 15 years, as each person came forth to you with a story about something he said you must have at least defended yourself right then, right? Why would they turn away if you explained your side? How do they explain their behaviors? Were you close to your family and then he changed all that? Have you tried to talk about it with your family and nobody listens? Have you thought of moving? With no friends and family, why even stay? I wish I knew more of the story, sister. It just sounds "off" to me. Narcs are rarely motivated to slander continually for 15 years after the fact and, even if they are that motivated, those who have been listening to the nonsense over and over all those years rarely would continue to care or at least would have told him to shut up already or would have given you the opportunity to defend yourself. Maybe these people aren't worth two shits - family included. Somehow I just can't see how this happened and your life is completely ruined by this man based on mere words fifteen years later. Pack your bags and sneak away...start a new life far away from these awful people who obviously were never your friends to begin with. I walked away from many without blinking an eye and I've never regretted it. I'm sure there's more to the story and maybe I can help. Feel free to write me here. I'm really baffled.... Zari:)

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Mon, 18 Dec 2017 07:44:38 +0000

In reply to Jeremy.

Hi Jeremy,

Oh believe me, I would believe you. Men call me all the time about these psychopathic evil bitches. They are beyond words. I do hope you have found a good psychiatrist who is willing to use the word narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath. If this doctor will not or does not want to SPECIFICALLY talk about what this person did to YOU or if this doctor only wants to talk about YOU and your past and what may have caused you to stay, etc., get out and find a new doctor. I find that psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, etc. either “get it” or they don’t. If they don’t, you may come out feeling worse than when you went in. Be vigilant and remember that I am available to speak with if you should need or want it. I wish you nothing but the best…

Zari:)

By: Rose

Rose — Wed, 13 Dec 2017 09:18:59 +0000

The silent treatment aka not fighting back does not “always work.” To this day, 15 years later, people still believe the narcs lies about me. My reputation is ruined, I have no friends, and only one family member will occasionally speak to me. I will always regret not defending myself immediately.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Mon, 04 Dec 2017 01:11:49 +0000

In reply to Zari Ballard.

Thank you. I’ve started working with a local psychiatrist so I hope it will help.

She is such a high-functioning psychopath, I don’t think anyone would ever believe she did the things she did. I’ve always said to myself, “I know someone that no one else in this world knows.” Her ability to be someone she’s not is truly unmatched. She took and took and took from me during the relationship, and once I hadn’t nothing left to give, she left me and tried to finish me off. It’s a living nightmare that I don’t think I’ll ever escape. When I think about the last 20 years of my life, its like a dream. All the things that I worked so hard for and cared so much about are gone. I don’t even know that any of it is real.

Thank you for your article and your help.

By: Zari Ballard

Zari Ballard — Sun, 03 Dec 2017 23:59:40 +0000

In reply to Jeremy.

Hi Jeremy,

Now, THAT is just awful. It’s hard for me to believe that this woman could be so convincing even to friends that you were both close to. How does that happen? Have you confronted any of these people to find out what they were told? You don’t necessarily have to go all out and defend yourself but you should face them if it was this bad. What you describe is not the norm and it may have something to do with the demographic in that town or the overall personality of those who live there but something is up. Have you ever thought of getting the hell out and starting a new life somewhere else? I just can’t see where people would literally turn their back on someone they have known forever based on some ex-wife nonsense. I know narcs can be bad – mine was ferocious – behind our backs but, if what you say is true, that is awful.

This is just a suggestion but maybe you should consider booking some coaching time with me. I can help you through it, I’m sure, but I would need to know some details. I speak with men all the time and, believe me, they have shared some horror stories. Together, we have gotten through it. Maybe I can help you as well, brother….

Zari:)