Comments for Narcissistic Partners & the Relationship Agenda

Comment on Can a Narcissist be Fixed or Cured? by Leah Bell

Leah Bell — Wed, 01 May 2024 22:19:57 +0000

Excellent material. I wish I had found you years ago while I was still married to a Narcissist. I actually have to read up now to try to help my son navigate the relationship with his horror of a human father.

Comment on Narcissists & the Cell Phone Game by Kristen W bell

Kristen W bell — Sun, 25 Feb 2024 13:45:38 +0000

My ex was a narcissist. Now it makes perfect sense why he had this extra work phone. This man went so far to tell me he was a correctional officer and worked two full time jobs and they showered and changed clothes at work

Comment on Narcissists & the Cell Phone Game by Kristen W bell

Kristen W bell — Sun, 25 Feb 2024 13:44:57 +0000

Comment on APHANTASIA & the Narcissistic Personality: Is there a connection?? by Mark

Mark — Fri, 09 Feb 2024 19:27:28 +0000

One of the defense mechanisms sometimes associated with narcissism is projection. It is rather common for the individual with narcissistic traits to project those onto others. Thus, the individual who is high in narcissism may “see” it in everyone except themselves. Another core of narcissism is lack of empathy:

“Personally, I have often dismissed speculation about what causes narcissism (an abusive childhood, neglect, drug addiction, etc.) simply because I felt that there was no excuse EVER for such atrocious behavior.”

1) Recent research has shown that individuals with aphantasia do not differ on general levels of empathy.

2) Research indicates that grandiose narcissism is associated with extraversion on the Five Factor Model (FFM) of personality. Additionally, vulnerable narcissists are associated with higher levels of emotionality. In contrast, aphantasia is associated with higher levels of introversion.

The shoe does not fit.

Comment on To Male Victims of Female Narcissistic Partners by Willie Hite

Willie Hite — Wed, 07 Feb 2024 13:24:35 +0000

Out of a 12 year toxic hell for 4 years now.
Never knew what narcissist was until after.
Now I’m a professional after studying, excepting and remembering who I was before the marriage. Each article I read makes me sick to my stomach reminding me of specific incidents that happened to me. It took everything I had to except she never loved me and I basically wasted 12 plus years of my life giving everything I had to what I thought was my soul mate and making excuses for her behavior which I thought was caused by her abusive past. Everything from cheating, abuse of my kids and family, embarrassing me constantly at my job, NUMEROUS insane accusations and just constantly walking on eggshells. She is absolutely Gorgeous and used this constantly to keep her social media attention feeding her ego with a massive following. I feel for anyone experiencing this

Comment on How Narcissist’s Triangulate: Death Of a Heart By a 1000 Cuts by Amy Thalman

Amy Thalman — Tue, 23 Jan 2024 02:48:28 +0000

Reading this has confirmed my worst fears. I’ve been with a narc for 10 years. Been cheated on the whole time. It changed for the absolute worst every time I found out I was pregnant. I was busy trying to be a mom, and he was busy…well, you know. I feel stuck and confused and overwhelmingly sad. I feel bad for my children because I know I can’t be the mother to them that they need when my mind is always in utter chaos and confusion bc of him. I see no way out of this. But, I know the light at the end of the tunnel is there. I just have to take those steps.

Comment on Narcissists & The Soul Mate Effect by Heather Phillips

Heather Phillips — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 20:18:19 +0000

I’ve read a lot of these comments from women currently experiencing narcissistic abuse from their partners, and while I try to be compassionate when I hear these terrible stories, another part of me wants to scream to the victims: Jesus would you please “grow a pair” already? I’m a woman who knows full well that girls are still inundated with romantic fantasies of the “knight in shining armor” coming to rescue them, (looking at you, Disney!) but when a man starts to pull this narcissistic shit on you…..you need to run as fast you can! And I do speak from experience, although I figured out what this cretin of a guy was up to pretty early on, and had a lot of fun toying with him psychologically. (Yes, it can be done, but I don’t recommend it, if you aren’t a strategic kind of thinker.) So, if you happen to fall into that category, just leave, and cut your losses. One thing to remember, is that if he sounds “too good to be true”, especially early on, that’s your first red flag. Don’t fall for it. This happened to me, but I recognized it, and let him think he was “winning” because eventually I got what I wanted from him and then left. But I never took anything he said to heart because everything he said was just obvious emotional manipulations. I’m pretty sure no woman had ever done that to him before because he was so used to the clinging, grasping, desperately in-love, type of woman, but I had a little nice tumble with him, and just up and left way before he had the chance to use his narcissistic, nasty bag of tricks on me, which I knew would eventually come. And yes, male narcissists do tend to be very good in bed, so if you’re a woman looking for that, kick the sheets with one, but don’t ever get romantically involved, or believe everything they tell you, especially the dumb “soulmate” stuff, the constant flattery, and the “future faking” bullshit! Lol! So, stop crying, ladies, hold your head up, and for goodness sakes, ditch the fantasy of who you think he is, and grow a pair! You deserve much better than to cry your eyes out over these types of men! By the way, this is the BEST SITE on the internet today for the purpose of self-education about the warped psychology of these types of people.

Comment on Narcissists & The Soul Mate Effect by Heather Phillips

Heather Phillips — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 20:17:34 +0000

I be read a lot of these comments from women currently experiencing narcissistic abuse from their partners, and while I try to be compassionate when I hear these terrible stories, another part of me wants to scream to the victims: Jesus would you please “grow a pair” already? I’m a woman who knows full well that girls are still inundated with romantic fantasies of the “knight in shining armor” coming to rescue them, (looking at you, Disney!) but when a man starts to pull this narcissistic shit on you…..you need to run as fast you can! And I do speak from experience, although I figured out what this cretin of a guy was up to pretty early on, and had a lot of fun toying with him psychologically. (Yes, it can be done, but I don’t recommend it, if you aren’t a strategic kind of thinker.) So, if you happen to fall into that category, just leave, and cut your losses. One thing to remember, is that if he sounds “too good to be true”, especially early on, that’s your first red flag. Don’t fall for it. This happened to me, but I recognized it, and let him think he was “winning” because eventually I got what I wanted from him and then left. But I never took anything he said to heart because everything he said was just obvious emotional manipulations. I’m pretty sure no woman had ever done that to him before because he was so used to the clinging, grasping, desperately in-love, type of woman, but I had a little nice tumble with him, and just up and left way before he had the chance to use his narcissistic, nasty bag of tricks on me, which I knew would eventually come. And yes, male narcissists do tend to be very good in bed, so if you’re a woman looking for that, kick the sheets with one, but don’t ever get romantically involved, or believe everything they tell you, especially the dumb “soulmate” stuff, the constant flattery, and the “future faking” bullshit! Lol! So, stop crying, ladies, hold your head up, and for goodness sakes, ditch the fantasy of who you think he is, and grow a pair! You deserve much better than to cry your eyes out over these types of men! By the way, this is the BEST SITE on the internet today for the purpose of self-education about the warped psychology of these types of people.

Comment on To Male Victims of Female Narcissistic Partners by Steven Nevling

Steven Nevling — Fri, 22 Dec 2023 22:52:11 +0000

As A male going thru the pain of a
FN breakup Your words helped me make sense of most of it.Not knowing how they manipulate everything threw me. And a part of me wants her to contact me to relieve the pain. I made sure I broke the relationship beyond repair. But I’m actively involved in self help. It’s getting better.

Comment on To Male Victims of Female Narcissistic Partners by Robert mckenrick

Robert mckenrick — Thu, 21 Dec 2023 01:37:06 +0000

Thank you for the letter everything I read makes me stronger and validated

Comment on Does a Married Narcissist Ever Leave His Wife? by Not important

Not important — Wed, 20 Dec 2023 07:48:19 +0000

I need serious help!!!

Comment on Debunking the Narcissist’s Smear Campaign by Nick

Nick — Sun, 17 Dec 2023 20:37:00 +0000

In reply to Zari Ballard. My ex does the whole pretending to be worried about me bit. She pretends to be worried I am back on cocaine to literally everyone she can. Even though I have sent here hair follicle test results proving otherwise every 2 months for years now.. lol

Comment on Debunking the Narcissist’s Smear Campaign by Nick

Nick — Sun, 17 Dec 2023 20:33:10 +0000

I wish I had read this 5 years ago when I left my wife. Or maybe not. It would not have done any good I guess, because her narcissistic abuse was so insidious, it wasn’t until 3 years later when she literally made my 8 year old son cry on purpose to gain a custody concession out of me until I started to ask myself “maybe the failure of the marriage wasn’t all my fault?” Now I realize that while I was far from perfect, I was basically a good husband while she abused me emotionally. I started looking back on events in the marriage that I knew at the time were just not normal but as a defense mechanism I just ignored that knowledge and accepted the gaslighting. Then I figured out why her family, friends, and many of our mutual friends had been looking at me differently since the break up. I did pick up a bad habit for about a year after the marriage, and my ex became aware of it, but I have had scientific and legal proof I had abstained from that habit since and she has that proof in her possession. They all seemed to still treat me like I was an active addict, and now I know why. And having not been armed with the proper knowledge, I did defend my reputation to her brother and a mutual friend. Now I am thinking I could probably show them the drug test results and they would think it is a fake. I could even sign a release with the drug testing company so they could call themselves and verify, but they would think I bribed the owner. It’s pointless. The one thing I did do right, is I have never spoken ill of my son’s mother to him. Not once. It is almost automatic for me. Sometimes when I am with him and close family who I have confided my frustrations to, I will be talking about his mother to them, and then when I finish I am like “wow, I can’t believe I didn’t say anything bad about her”. it’s like a reflex. I want him to have a close relationship with his mom. She does not feel the same alway about me. But 5 years later, my son and I are closer than we have ever been.

Comment on APHANTASIA & the Narcissistic Personality: Is there a connection?? by Laurie

Laurie — Tue, 12 Dec 2023 17:12:45 +0000

As a person with aphantasia and no autobiographical memories I at first was offended by this article until you stated that you’re not saying a aphatasics are Narcs… as someone who was in a 12 yr relationship with one I know myself not to be, I have a tremendous amount of empathy, but I do agree that once out of sight out of mind things “stop being” until reminded of them, including people. I’ve always had a problem attaching to people including my own family (even my child) and when I leave a relationship that person ceases to exist for the most part until I’m reminded, but I cannot see myself in that life any longer and I’ve even had to take a moment to recall one of their names. I don’t feel hurt by things people have done to me, I’ve never had my heart broken, I feel love but I’m not entirely sure I feel it the same way others do, as I could easily go on no matter who disappeared from my life including my life partner whom I love as much as I am capable of loving, but when people are around me I feel things very deeply, more deeply than most I think… I cannot go to funerals without being completely overcome with sadness even if it’s someone I don’t know, I’m a sponge for whatever everyone else is feeling. I know I’ve been places and done things but I cannot ever place myself in the experience, I rarely dream and when I do I don’t recall ever seeing people as they are when I’m looking at them but I just know who the person is, I can’t even be certain there’s a figure in the dream or just the feeling of the person and whatever feelings are attached to that individual. I am usually alone in my dreams. I do live in my own little world for the most part and I think some who don’t truly know me might think me to be narcissistic as I can be cold and detached with most. My narc of 12 yrs had a great ability to visualize, he knew picture perfect every physical flaw that everyone possessed as if they were standing right in front of him whereas I rarely even noticed what he’d mentioned about the person. So as a psychology buff with a specific interest in personality disorders I absolutely see what you’re saying but I think I’d have to disagree as someone with aphantasia and attachment issues. I enjoyed your article very much though, very thought provoking.

Comment on Narcissists and Sex: Why Anything Goes… by Simone Furukawa

Simone Furukawa — Tue, 05 Dec 2023 22:22:38 +0000

In reply to Linda Mathia.

As I read your post I cry deeply that there are many women who have suffered this abuse like myself…. And I am so sorry. I read your words like they were my own.. but unfortunately being so submissive I was the toy he used over and over knowing fully that he knew I was only doing it for him and his happy thoughts….I feel sick everyday knowing that I betrayed my body so much …just to please someone I thought may change…
They are ugly monsters. Vampires of the days…sucking every good part of you away……
….I am afraid to tell people of his doings as I know many would turn and say…..you had the choice to leave, so why did you stay?”……..to forgive yourself is the hardest thing and it plays on your mind like a broken record over and over……

I’m am so sorry for all women and men who have similar nightmares…..

Comment on To Male Victims of Female Narcissistic Partners by Arron

Arron — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 06:17:32 +0000

could not even read half of your so call letter to men for the piss poor apology letter. you clearly just glance or skim over males being abused, torn down and destroyed then highlight “how women suffer at the hands of males” You clearly have no idea do you. there is NO help for men suffering with the hell. if you google about help for men and actually find anything and start reading it I garrantee with in the first 1/4 of it, it turns it back on fellow men. I’m at the end of my rope literally right now and NO help or light at the end of my destroyed life. you should be ashamed

Comment on Narcissists, Holidays, & the Seasonal Discard by Francis Kovacs

Francis Kovacs — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 13:30:14 +0000

As a male victim of female perpertrated narcissistic abuse over twenty years, it really is consoling that on this site that abuse is abuse, revardless of gender. The courts and culturally the perceptions are so far behind say how far we have come on racisim, disability, mental health (still a long way to go). So I’ve signed up to your site and look forward to hearing, supporting, receiving support from unbiased open minded chats. Thank you for doing this in the way you are.

Comment on To Male Victims of Female Narcissistic Partners by Patricia

Patricia — Tue, 14 Nov 2023 03:04:14 +0000

Mario I am so sorry ouch how painful you are still her father nothing your daughters mother can do can change that biologically she is your daughter I would say remind your daughter how much you love her stand up to this horrible woman tell her is she wants another guy is one thing thats bad enough but you are the father just because she wants to replace you make her daughter call some other guy her father what kind of a horrible woman would do something so mean a narcissist theres nothing wrong with you its all her. Are you in therapy need someone to care talk to you can talk to me.

Comment on To Male Victims of Female Narcissistic Partners by Patricia Icard

Patricia Icard — Tue, 14 Nov 2023 02:57:22 +0000

to male victims of narcissistic abuse I do understand I was a victim of male narcissist I get it I still hurt if you are a good guy you would be a dream for me to have a good guy. i just want an attractive normal guy to love me but I have to heal myself.

Comment on Is the Narcissist Happy Now? (A Reality Check) by S Alexander

S Alexander — Sat, 04 Nov 2023 04:19:42 +0000

Thank you.

Comment on How the Married Narcissist Plays His Victims by soprano

soprano — Wed, 18 Oct 2023 00:20:43 +0000

I’ve been seeing a narcissist for the past 8 months who I just found out was married last week. I told him I know and he continues to try to manipulate me. He has lied about everything. And I still find it shocking he’s able to hide his wife/family because he has a pretty large audience. Likes to call himself a public figure lol. But anyways, this article is spot on. Super charismatic, entitled, sex addict, always traveling to Paris because he’s big in fashion. So many red flags but I loved and trusted him. In the process of fully removing myself now and it’s hard. Thank you for your help.

Comment on Do Narcissists Know Right From Wrong? by Alana Spaulding

Alana Spaulding — Sat, 07 Oct 2023 19:55:46 +0000

I believe a narcissistic person knows right and wrong. They have watched TV, read books and experienced it in life they know what is acceptable and unacceptable completely but unfortunately because they have no empathy sympathy, or love they don’t emotional pain. without those feelings they don’t know what the next step in a normal behavior would be because these feelings are what influence how we react to a situation.they have the unability to understand what is wrong about what they’ve done because they don’t feel bad and because of this they have no way from choosing the right choice because the easier choice the one that pleases instantly is the past they’re always going to choose. One thing I do realize that they do feel is pleasure they like to pleasure themselves. Whether it’s by you or themselves because of one thing they can feel. Somehow I’m going to find a way to give him pleasure by pleasuring somebody else because it gives me great pleasure to please someone I am sure it immensely. And to also make them aware of them appreciating and being appreciated for two differences and how it’s expected to be equal thank you have a good day

Comment on The Pathological Liar: Sifting Thru a Narcissist’s Word Garbage! by You already know

You already know — Mon, 18 Sep 2023 21:59:35 +0000

Amen.
He tried to make me think that his international exploitation and smear campaign of me was all in my head for over 8 years.

Comment on A Narcissist Always Returns (The Hoovering) by Jane Mccracken

Jane Mccracken — Mon, 11 Sep 2023 23:22:22 +0000

I deleted narcissist nearly a week ago today. I had only been talking to him for several months and ignored every red flag. He broke up with me previously a month ago i didnt hear from him for 3 days and than he contacted me. I hope he doesnt hoover again this time as i just want my life back at this stage. I have blocked him everywhere possible.

Comment on Narcissists & the Cell Phone Game by Shannon

Shannon — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 16:23:58 +0000

I was subjected to years of this similar type of abuse by the father of my child