To a narcissist, hoovering is a timeless tactic for controlling a target, validating that control, and periodically checking an ex’s queue-status. And when I say “timeless”, I mean TIMELESS as in time is of NO consequence…time is NOT of the essence…time never runs out…and there’s no time like now to hoover “whomever I want because,
The Narcissist’s Motivation to Deceive- Part 2/2
In Part I of this article, I explained how the narcissist has but one true cause that rules his life and that is to see what he can get away with. He truly knows nothing else. Everything he does/says throughout the course of the day – and throughout the duration of the relationship – is
The Narcissist’s Motivation to Deceive (Part 1/2)
Narcissistic lovers and partners are really as simple as they are complicated. We spend a whole lot of time trying to figure it all out…why they do what they do and say what they say. We agonize over their willingness to cheat and how they so easily can lie about it. We demand to know
How the Married Narcissist Plays His Victims
The narcissist who is married is probably the most prolific of all the other narcissists because of the game he has ultimately chosen to play. Indeed, the married narcissist can live in suburbia with the wife and kids and, at the same time, carry on one or more relationships outside of the marriage without appearing
Getting Over the Narcissist One Small Choice at a Time
The hardest part about leaving a narcissist is the thought that we’re never going to get over it. Even though we’ve been subjected to a zillion silent treatments and disappearances (and survived!), we figure that once it’s really over, we might as well curl up in the fetal position and get comfortable because that’s where
How Narcissist’s Triangulate: Death Of a Heart By a 1000 Cuts
Triangulation is a passive-aggressive manipulation tactic used by narcissists and sociopaths to instill feelings of jealousy and insecurity in their partners. It’s a tactic by which narcissists can create thrilling illusions of popularity, making themselves out to be far busier and more socially-in-demand outside of the relationship than they really are. This narcissistic strategy, like
Narcissists, Money, & The 5-Star Deception
I’ve never really given much credence to clinical narcissist types – classic, somatic, cerebral etc. – because, to me, when we’re talking about the narcissistic mentality, it’s all the same albeit slight variations depending upon the circumstance. Now, having said that, I do absolutely believe that there exists two very specific non-clinical types – that
Loving the Narcissist is NOT Your Destiny
Even though you feel intense love for a narcissistic partner, you must understand that loving the narcissist is not your destiny. Our codependency to hope (that incessant feeling of Oh my God, this just has to get better!) keeps us tethered to a life that we sadly feel committed to fixing instead of changing –
Narcissists & The Soul Mate Effect
In a relationship, a narcissist will use a variety of emotional manipulation tactics to hook, re-hook, and then string-along his partner. One of the most effective of these tactics is one that I call the soul mate effect. Along with its sister manipulation tactic future faking, the soul mate effect makes up the stickiest portion
The Narcissist’s Compartmentalized Life – Part 2/2
Although narcissists are famous for lacking a moral compass and the ability to show true human emotion, it’s their ability to understand it all that amazes me. In this article, Part 2 of my series on a narcissism and compartmentalization, I’m going to give you my theory on how a narcissist (or sociopath) actually does