When is loving a narcissist our fault and how do we reconcile the blame…clearly, two of the toughest questions that narcissist abuse victims struggle with. Part of the healing and recovery from narcissist abuse is our willingness to forgive ourselves for our own participation and I’m a firm believer that we have to do this.
Archives for 2014
The Narcissist’s Hoover & Our Conditioned Response
In relationships, the hoover maneuver is a narcissist’s claim to fame and there’s a simple reason for this: it rarely fails. This is fairly amazing given the fact that a hoover, by its narcissistic definition, is never a good thing and anybody who knows anything about narcissism knows this – including the recipient. Why knowing
Narcissistic Chaos – Creating Turmoil on Purpose
The narcissistic lover with a narcissistic personality will create chaos and turmoil on a regular basis (and on purpose) to keep you in a heightened state of anxiety. He/she will do this even when things are good – and especially when things are good – so that you least expect the kick to the curb.
Narcissistic Tactics (It’s All Smoke & Mirrors)
Everything a narcissist/sociopath says or does is a trick of smoke and mirrors – a narcissistic ploy – intended to distract from the reality of what he’s really up to. If you pay careful attention instead of reacting to his/her behaviors, you can turn these ploys into your advantage. Many of us already know that
Narcissist Abuse & Giving Up Our Need for Closure
For a victim to recover from narcissist abuse, she or he must be ready and willing to give up the need for closure because it is never going to happen. When we receive the inevitable Discard (after an eternity of being Devalued), it is often our longing for closure that keeps us hanging in the
Cheating Narcissists & Why Great Sex with You Changes Nothing
The narcissist will cheat no matter how great your sex life is together and no matter how willing you are to fulfill his every fantasy – and that’s a fact. Furthermore, if you, as the victim partner, behave like I did and refuse to wrap your head around this fact even after you discover that
Narcissist Abuse & the Deafening Sound of Silence
Narcissists and the silent treatment go together like…well, like maybe bees and honey or peas and carrots or (better yet!) thunder and lightening or like any two things that can’t be one without the other. Seriously, a silent treatment can’t occur without a narcissist (or sociopath) to implement it and a narcissist couldn’t be a
Another Poem to a Narcissistic Lover
Breaking up with a narcissist is never easy but it’s entirely possible. You must look deep into your hearts, my friends, and I promise you that you will find the answers. And sometimes it sure helps to write about it so think about doing that the next time you feel sad inside. So, while I
Narcissists & the Cell Phone Game
Narcissists are experts when it comes to playing The Cell Phone Game. A narcissist uses the cell phone as a tool, a prop…a weapon, in fact…to conduct his evil and bring sadness and especially anxiety upon his victims. My ex was a master at The Cell Phone Game and I repeatedly called him on it,
The Pathological Liar: Sifting Thru a Narcissist’s Word Garbage!
A narcissist is a pathological liar who will lie about anything and everything for the sole purpose of gleefully watching you sift through the word garbage. He/she also lies even when the truth is a better story. This means that he’ll lie about which super market he shopped at, where he stopped for gas, the